People, hear the holy man's calls:
Closer to God are those with no balls

Listen to the way of this monk:
Closer to God are those with no junk

Hear my message, let's all be glad:
Closer to God are those without nads

Heed these words and go make the cut
Closer to God are those with no nuts

There's a thing, you should be doing
You want to ascend, it's what you must do
It might be painful when you get neutered
But you gotta do it for the sake of your soul
If your name's Bob, Joe, or Kevin
Gotta cut 'em both off so you can go to heaven

If you want to be closer to God
Closer to Him, then cut off your cods

This is how the holy man talks:
To meet the Lord, you must have no rocks

To the sky your soul will be flown
But only if you do not have your stones

People, you must not act like fools
Those who meet God have no family jewels

There's a thing, you should be doing
You want to be saved, then you cut off your stuff down there
You get cut and you won't regret it, so don't you forget it, 'cause now is the time
See these garden scissors, and we promise that it will be quick and painless
People change and you're changing. Now that you are a eunuch, your soul's pure and stainless

This is what the holy book means:
Closer to God are those with no beans

You'll need to be sealed in blood
For closer to God are those with no spuds

Trying to be holy is hard
For closer to God are those with no nards

People, please be wise, don't be dumb
For closer to God are those with no plums....