Your faucet’s leaking, your sink is clogged.
I guess things need adjusting, and that’s no fun.
You hoped a wrench would do it—one turn, you’re done.
But now you need to change some parts.

Rikki, don’t use that plumber—
You should really call somebody else.
(I would know, having hired him myself.)
Rikki, don’t use that plumber—
He’s not the only one around!
There are people who fix things better,
I have found.

I have a friend in town—he’ll bill you less.
Won’t take you for a ride down Long Snake Lane.
We can go out shopping while things drain
And pick up any extra parts.

Rikki, don’t use that plumber—
You should really call somebody else.
(I would know, having hired him myself.)
Rikki, don’t use that plumber—
He’s not the only one around!
There are people who fix things better,
I have found.

You tell me that they’re all the same.
But some of them just have no shame:
They’ll overcharge you for the parts!

Rikki, don’t use that plumber—
You should really call somebody else.
(I would know, having hired him myself.)
Rikki, don’t use that plumber—
He’s not the only one around!
There are people who fix things better,
I have found.

Rikki, don’t use that plumber...