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Song Parodies -> "A Nil-Nil Soccer Game"
Original Song Title:
"The Hockey Song (a.k.a. The Good Old Hockey Game)"
Original Performer:
Stompin' Tom Connors
Parody Song Title:
"A Nil-Nil Soccer Game"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
Yes, I'm aware, it's called "football," not "soccer." Except in the vast majority of the English-speaking world: America, Canada, South Africa, India and Australia.
(instrumental opening)
Hello, out there.
We're on the air.
It's matchday once again.
And the football clubs
are full of shlubs
who are clanging like Big Ben.
Paid 50 pounds
to see these clowns.
It's a price that's so insane.
The crowd has snored
'cause no one's scored!
It's a nil-nil soccer game.
Oh, a nil-nil soccer game
is the worst game you can name.
And the worst game you can name
is a nil-nil soccer game.
Yellow card.
Oh, sakes alive.
A jammy dive.
He gets away with it.
The ref is fooled.
The player's drooled.
Opposition in a snit.
The penalty
was wrong, you see
but he shanks the shot, for shame!
It serves him right
but it's still a blight
of a nil-nil soccer game.
Oh, a nil-nil soccer game
is the worst game you can name.
And the worst game you can name
is a nil-nil soccer game.
Oh, take me where
the soccer players
can actually score.
For this Sunderland-
Stoke game is bland
and I don't want anymore.
Next week, it's on
in Islington:
A match that wins some fame.
In the 90th min
The Arsenal win!
It's a one-nil soccer game!
Oh, a one-nil soccer game
is the best game you can name
and the best game you can name
is a one-nil soccer game!
Oh, a one-nil soccer game
is the best game you can name
and the best game you can name
is a one-nil soccer game!
Oh, a one-nil soccer game
is the best game you can name
and the best game you can name
is a one-nil soccer game!
(instrumental close)
Hello, out there.
We're on the air.
It's matchday once again.
And the football clubs
are full of shlubs
who are clanging like Big Ben.
Paid 50 pounds
to see these clowns.
It's a price that's so insane.
The crowd has snored
'cause no one's scored!
It's a nil-nil soccer game.
Oh, a nil-nil soccer game
is the worst game you can name.
And the worst game you can name
is a nil-nil soccer game.
Yellow card.
Oh, sakes alive.
A jammy dive.
He gets away with it.
The ref is fooled.
The player's drooled.
Opposition in a snit.
The penalty
was wrong, you see
but he shanks the shot, for shame!
It serves him right
but it's still a blight
of a nil-nil soccer game.
Oh, a nil-nil soccer game
is the worst game you can name.
And the worst game you can name
is a nil-nil soccer game.
Oh, take me where
the soccer players
can actually score.
For this Sunderland-
Stoke game is bland
and I don't want anymore.
Next week, it's on
in Islington:
A match that wins some fame.
In the 90th min
The Arsenal win!
It's a one-nil soccer game!
Oh, a one-nil soccer game
is the best game you can name
and the best game you can name
is a one-nil soccer game!
Oh, a one-nil soccer game
is the best game you can name
and the best game you can name
is a one-nil soccer game!
Oh, a one-nil soccer game
is the best game you can name
and the best game you can name
is a one-nil soccer game!
(instrumental close)
Yeah, 1-0 is the best game... if you became an Arsenal fan in the George Graham years! (1987-94)
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
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