Took my pawn
What the Hoyle's going on?
Could it be you're cheating more than I supposed?
And did your horsey play
A little power move my queen's way?
I guess he's sneaking steroids on the sly

Never knew that knights could go and join the Navy
Castle walls can pour down boiling gravy
And both the bishops must concoct the master plan
Rooks can't cross any line that's drawn in the sand

Super-pepped-up king was caused by strong caffeine
Sacrifice lowly pawn gotta save the queen
Knights can not be seen by you when they are dazed
Rules of chess are keeping me amazed

Castle's gone
Handgrenade tossed on the lawn
Flaming arrows caught the poor queen's hair on fire
My knight's thrown by a snake
There were assassins in the cake
The bishops being beaten by the choir

Something's wrong
No mere pawn can be that strong
Dropped a mountain on my rook from a high place
Some monster from the lake
Burned my bishop tied at the stake
Then ate him without even saying grace

Word's your bond
You don't know who hid that bomb
Could it be I'm getting close to someone dear?
Cause when I made my move
Took a piece you hate to lose
I left your Royal fam'ly in the clear

Demon spawn
Have no power after dawn
So you'd better think of something else right quick
Cause if you plan to slay
The Queen's courtiers that way
You might find sending spies might
Do the trick

Gatlin gun
That is how the game was won
Didn't see it hidden high up in the spire . . .