Who's sneaking out and using a new name
Calling us names and blowing hot air?
What writing clown cries out like a baby
Who would have guessed it's "Shakespeare!"

Who's crying out so churlish and pisssy
Snarling at everybody in tears?
Who's finding out his crap is pure torment
Everyone knows it's "Shakespeare!"

Since "Shakespeare" is not much read
He'll lash out as us instead
A hypocrite born and bred
Who's not to proud (Who's not too proud)
To cry out loud (To cry out loud)

(Whining, bawling Shakespearean Solo..."Please come read me, please)

Old Shakespeare has lots of songs
I read one once, not for long
My gag reflex ain't that strong
His songs I find (his songs I find)
Best for the blind (best for the blind)

What tipped me off he wrote the bad "Petty"?
Snarling at everybody, it's clear
Everyone else could write it much better
Who could it be but "Shakespeare"