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Song Parodies -> "How Can You Mend A Silent Fart"
Original Song Title:
"How Can You Mend A Broken Heart"
Original Performer:
The Bee Gees
Parody Song Title:
"How Can You Mend A Silent Fart"
Parody Written by:
Stuart McArthur
The Lyrics
Works best if you can recall the plaintive breathy tones of the original
I can think of yesterday
when living a clean life
was everything a man could want to do....
I could not predict the sor-row....
a minor indiscretion in the lift to-mor-row
Coz......
how can you mend....a silent fart?
How can you stop the smell from seeping out?
How can you stop - that small eruption
that hardly makes a sound
oh, oh, how can you put.....a fart back in?
How can a farter ever win?
Please help me mend - my silent fart - so we can breathe again.
I can still feel the faint breeze - that rustled through my cheeks
that misty seepage in my underpants
I just wished it were tomor-row
no-one said a word - such pain and sor-row
so....
how can you stop.....a silent fart?
How can you stop your friends from breathing in?
How can you stop - the air polluting
How can a farter win?
oh, oh, how can you put.....a fart back in?
how can you stop this stupid grin?
Please help me mend - my silent fart - so we can breathe again.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 25 | 22 | 22 |
User Comments
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"How can you put a fart back in?" I AM DYING!!!
aah, thankyou, ash, that was my favourite and you picked it !!!
I, too, am dying. I hate when I burst out in the office, because the ladies all look at me like I'm insane...(that's how they look at me, but I know that they are really just jealous that I am privy to hilarity like this and they are not...) 5s, Stuart...
555. It's not a problem if there are at least 2 other people (who don't know you and who don't know each other) with you on the lift.
interesting point, Johnny! - I'll have to do the math on that! - but something tells me, instinctively, that you may be right - thanks heaps for the 5s.............Arwen! - heaven is to make you laugh!....but (whispering) seriously, you and I both know those ladies are jealous mostly because you're a beautiful princess and they're not!
Perfect choice of original for the subject matter.
Love it, Stuart. 5-5-5. And Arwen, what did you mean when you said "burst out in the office?" Surely you NEVER!!! :-)
thanks John and Dee! :-)
Dee...if you're wondering if I was laughing so hard that my boobs fell right out of the top of my shirt...you can just come right out and say it...; )
Some people do it in church.
LOL!!!! I didn't stop laughing throughout the whole song! (tearfully) And thanks for making it to a BeeGees sqeaky song...I can replace these words with theirs. If I could, it would be way more than 5, but, still...5's.
I used to think that when I was a kid, 2Eagle, but my Mum told me it was just Satan burping.....Arwen - asked but not answered, your honour....
well thankyou adagio!! - I'm rapt you found it so funny! - those Bee Gees were so earnest weren't they??
I'll respectfully decline to answer...and let you all enjoy whatever images your imaginations give you.
This one's a real gas! outrageously funny!
Stuart, I always thought that the BeeGees sang that way, until I heard a pre-disco song of theirs. They sounded almost like Simon and Garfunkel on the song "New York Mining Disaster, 1949". I did one parody to it and would like to do another. Who told them they sounded better? lol yea...they were earnest, with the wrong voices.
as an Aussie, we grew up with the Bee gees thru the sixties, before they made it overseas, and they were very much Simon and G. I heard Barry interviewed and he said he tried a falsetto once, was amazed how naturally it came (apparently it's a rare talent, he said) and stuck to it.......I suppose it makes them distinctive (I like it sometimes - "Tragedy")
Nice work
ah yes, the ol' "silent but deadly"....5s
I had to visit this laughing matter again. :D
thanks adagio, that's an honour
(Aust comp) I can smell this one halfway around the world!
:-) Is that the whiff of success I smell?
(Aust comp) Smells like fine parody.
(OZCO) Imagining the Bee Gees singing this is priceless!
thanks Johnny, Phil, Luke and Merry :-)
Quoting Rick from "The Young Ones' : "There's a vewwy farty smell in this room and it's definitely not coming from my bottom...". Excellent work stinking the Bee Gees out, Stuart!
well, it's much easier now there's only two of them, Pippin
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=7742.0;id=3898;image
(ABC05H)
It took a fart smeller - er I mean a smart feller to write something this tasteless. But as the old adage goes, it's better to burp and taste it than fart and waste it. I hope I never share an elevator with you. The content of this parody could be used to promote a whole new kind of competition - "The Smelling Bee".
This is written well - you managed to make it funny and leave the gross stuff out of it. The mark of a fine parodist. Well done Stu.
It took a fart smeller - er I mean a smart feller to write something this tasteless. But as the old adage goes, it's better to burp and taste it than fart and waste it. I hope I never share an elevator with you. The content of this parody could be used to promote a whole new kind of competition - "The Smelling Bee".
This is written well - you managed to make it funny and leave the gross stuff out of it. The mark of a fine parodist. Well done Stu.
(ABC) After getting a whiff of this parody, I echo Guy and John Barry's comments.
Not normally a fan of fart parodies, but this one didn't stink
(ABC5) Short but sweet (unlike that fart). 555!
It's called. . .FEBREEZE .. .spray it on your pants before it happens, Matty--uuuh--ok, well I am a fan of the toilet genre at times, and never really anti--love the creative sides of it, which you no doubt posses
(ABC) And a rooty-toot-toot-TOOT to you! LOL! Very funny, plus a bonus gross-out with the "seepage" line. I think you had one extra word with "faint breeze", but who cares. 5-5-5, an oxygen mask and some perfume on your pants!
I always knew you were full of something, now I know what! Lol...this was hilarious. I also subbed blend for mend in my mind, which led to other ideas... :)
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