O.'s Press Sec was a buddy named Robert Gibbs,
And he was great when he'd tell all those bare-faced fibs.
Now Bob is gone, and he's back with O.'s campaign.
Look who's now occupying Bob Gibbs's place.
A clueless dude with a blank and befuddled face.
Who's up there today? Some guy named Jay.
Carney is the doofus you'll see.

Watch him all these days and nights
Like a deer caught in headlights.
D.C. has no other sights
Quite like this doofus.
It's no shock he worked for Time.
This appointment - less than prime.
Droning like a busted chime.
He sure is a doofus.

Worked for Biden and that must have been fatigue,
Then got the call to come up to the major league.
The press briefs now can benumb a normal brain.
It's hard to tell what he says and he really means.
He's not like O. when he reads from his tele-screens.
Enough of this hack. Gergen, come back!
What a doofus is Jay Car-ney.


(Long...I mean LONG...instrumental interlude)


It doesn't matter if he can't communicate.
The White House just wants a man who can obfuscate.
Bill Moyers? Hell no! Nor Tony Snow!
Who's that doofus on my T.V.?
Who's that total doofus I see?
Who's that doofus? It's Jay.....Car-ney!