On a dark empty highway, Bryllcream in my hair
I was getting hungry, but had no food I could spare
Up ahead in the distance, I saw the Golden Arch light
It got larger as my hunger grew
I had to stop for a bite

There she stood in the doorway;
The head fry cook,
And I was thinking to myself,
'I could buy something or I could just look'
Then she held up a burger and she showed me inside
There were people behind the countertop,
I thought I heard them sigh...


"Welcome to McDonald's, can I help you?
Such a lovely place *such a lovely place*
Would you like a shake?
Plenty of food at McDonald's, can I help you?
Any time of year, *any time of year*
We'll be open here"

She's waiting in the drive thru, she got a Mercedes Benz
She bought a lot of greasy, greasy food, for her friends
Children play in the playground, sweet apple pie.
Some play tag or red rover, some play Simon Sez

So I called to the sales clerk,
"Chef Salad if you please"
He said, "I haven't had a coffee break since nineteen eighty-three"
And still commercials are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night with
"Have you had your break today?"


"Welcome to McDonald's, can I help you?
Such a lovely place *such a lovely place*
Try a Shamrock shake
We're cookin' it up at McDonald's, can I help you?
Happy Meal surprise, *Happy Meal surprise*
Would you like some fries?"

Murals on the ceiling,
Ronald McDonald in oils
And she said, "We are all just employees here, of our own device"
And on the master menu,
Quarter Pounder with Cheese
They listen to their Steely Dan,
Don't they make a real nice feast?

Last thing I remember, I was
Headed for the door
I had to buy a number three
To eat out on the road
"Relax," said the fry cook,
"We are programmed to eat awhile.
You can checkout any time you like,
And we love to see you smile!"