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Song Parodies -> "Dead Franchise"

Original Song Title:

"Lyin' Eyes"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Dead Franchise"

Parody Written by:

Klif Fuller

The Lyrics

Dedicated to the faceless suits in Hollywood whose approach to a film is always "how much money can we make?" and not "how good is this film?"
"Men in Suits' just seem to find out early
That sequels to a smash can rake in dough
A third rate script
That just repeats the first one
It sounds like crap but you still want to go

Late at night around a boardroom table
The "Men in Suits' decide to make "part 2'
But they don't care too much about the plot lines
All they want is to rake in revenue

So they take a film about some super-hero
Who's unknown to most except those comic nerds
They fantasize the bad guy could be DeNiro
I wish that they would heed these warning words

Don't revive this dead franchise
That "part three' is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to revive this dead franchise

On the other side of town a man is waiting
With tie-in t-shirts and assorted toys
He rubs his hands together, anticipating
The "action figures' bought by sad Fan Boys

Before part two is out,
They plan a third one
They think it'll be the film, next year, to see
Coz we all know if you want to milk more money
From a film it should become a trilogy

Don't revive this dead franchise
That "part three' is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to revive this dead franchise

The sequel bombs and now the suits get worried
That the third one, now, no-one will ever see
But there's still a way to re-coup their investment
They'll release a Special Edition DVD

They wonder how they could still make more money
On these three films that no one went to see
A boxed set with loads of extras on is one thing
Tied in to a spin off series on TV

My, oh my, you sure know how to promote things
You got us watching films that we don't like
The films are crap but the merchandising till rings
I wish all you accountants would take a hike!

Don't revive this dead franchise
That "part three' is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to revive this dead franchise
There ain't no way to revive this dead franchise
Money, is behind this dead franchise

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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 3   0
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 4   2
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 5   7
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