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Song Parodies -> "Oh Hell, Can They Bore Ya"
Original Song Title:
"Hotel California"
Original Performer:
The Eagles
Parody Song Title:
"Oh Hell, Can They Bore Ya"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
Flying is bad enough as it is, but sometimes you just can't get an even break...
On an L.A. bound red-eye,
4 hours of fear
Cold meal of dry chicken
And a warm can of beer
In the seat right beside me,
An overweight guy in plaid
Told me he sold detergents door-to-door,
And that his name was Big Brad
Then this jerk started yacking
About his work with bleach
As I was thinking to myself,
"That lovely stewardess smells like a peach"
I found out he did stand-up;
He ran through his routine
After 20 Pakistani jokes
I just wanted to scream....
Well-fed fellows; oh hell, can they bore ya!
Gettin' in your face (gettin' in your face)
Like a squirt of mace
Plenty of hot air, and oh hell, can they bore ya!
Watch me clench my rear, as they bend my ear
I pleaded to be re-seated,
Citing severe pain in neck
The only space was next to Reverend Bob....what the feck?
As he cried "Hallelujah!",
Hands in the air
I prayed for salvation, and tried not to swear
Warned me 'bout fornication;
Temptations of flesh
While I...was try'n to watch two lesbians in the next row get fresh
His pious voice was annoying; I had to say
"Sir, I'm off to a pagan sacrifice...there's a goat to slay!"
Hell-bent fellows; oh well, can they bore ya!
With their pompous ways (with their pompous ways)
And their fear of gays
They may wanna save ya from hot hell; hell, they bore ya!
Bible-bleating guys (bible-bleating guys)
Screw "The Friendly Skies!"
Stewardess, I'm calling...
To save me from this crap
But she said, "We are all just prisoners here; so shut yer trap"
And in the first-class chambers
They settled down to snooze
I'll stab them with my plastic spork
Eat their snacks and steal their booze
Last thing I remember, I'd locked
Myself in the john
Shrilly wailing to the cabin crew
"SERVE MY DRINKS HERE FROM NOW ON!"
Spent the night in a jail cell
Getting legless on cheap hooch
Coz I had to share my tiny bunk
With Paris Hilton's pooch....
4 hours of fear
Cold meal of dry chicken
And a warm can of beer
In the seat right beside me,
An overweight guy in plaid
Told me he sold detergents door-to-door,
And that his name was Big Brad
Then this jerk started yacking
About his work with bleach
As I was thinking to myself,
"That lovely stewardess smells like a peach"
I found out he did stand-up;
He ran through his routine
After 20 Pakistani jokes
I just wanted to scream....
Well-fed fellows; oh hell, can they bore ya!
Gettin' in your face (gettin' in your face)
Like a squirt of mace
Plenty of hot air, and oh hell, can they bore ya!
Watch me clench my rear, as they bend my ear
I pleaded to be re-seated,
Citing severe pain in neck
The only space was next to Reverend Bob....what the feck?
As he cried "Hallelujah!",
Hands in the air
I prayed for salvation, and tried not to swear
Warned me 'bout fornication;
Temptations of flesh
While I...was try'n to watch two lesbians in the next row get fresh
His pious voice was annoying; I had to say
"Sir, I'm off to a pagan sacrifice...there's a goat to slay!"
Hell-bent fellows; oh well, can they bore ya!
With their pompous ways (with their pompous ways)
And their fear of gays
They may wanna save ya from hot hell; hell, they bore ya!
Bible-bleating guys (bible-bleating guys)
Screw "The Friendly Skies!"
Stewardess, I'm calling...
To save me from this crap
But she said, "We are all just prisoners here; so shut yer trap"
And in the first-class chambers
They settled down to snooze
I'll stab them with my plastic spork
Eat their snacks and steal their booze
Last thing I remember, I'd locked
Myself in the john
Shrilly wailing to the cabin crew
"SERVE MY DRINKS HERE FROM NOW ON!"
Spent the night in a jail cell
Getting legless on cheap hooch
Coz I had to share my tiny bunk
With Paris Hilton's pooch....
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User Comments
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So well, pal, I score ya. Masterful job! And the code's PHD.
Freakin HILARIOUS , and I remember I tsrated a group parody on the board in 2004 called Hotel That'll Bore Ya that never went trhough
This is one "fly" parody you cool cat!
Attention, passengers: This flight is delayed while we award Song of the Month to Kristof Robertson. And you had it wrapped up well before the reference to Tinkerbell. (Paris' pooch.) Here's 555 frequent-flier miles, which should get you from the east coast of Australia to... New Zealand? Oh, well, stuck, Melbourne, ya.
I don't know what to say. One of the following must have happened: 1. Either I or anyone else here who's complained about flying has been flying on all the wrong airlines. 2. I was lucky. 3. Autism has rendered me quite happy about flying on airplanes. 4. Something else happened. In any case, the only major issues I have about flying are: Long lines at security checkpoints, waiting for the plane to get here, and running out of stuff to do on the plane. Other than that, I like flying in airplanes. Oh yeah, and I'm also a bit afraid of crashing & burning, but that's not happened to me yet, so I'm not as concerned about that.
Also, I'd like to offer another comment: What long, strange days we live in, dudes.
Luckily I've never had such experiences in flying, but I tend to grab a few drinks before I get on the plane and sleep while in the air. But this is outstanding work, Kristof. Spork 'em if they can't take a joke.
boy, did you ever hit the nail on the head with this one
In the mile high club of hilarity.....funny all the way through...very creative
:-)
...say, Kristof, is that stewardess any relation?
...say, Kristof, is that stewardess any relation?
Many thanks to JAB, Jack, Matty, Mike, Dylan, McK, Al, AFW and Phil
Phil: I was wondering who was going to be the first to bring that up...I should've put some money on you, mate. If the stewardess mentioned WAS the cousin in question, that'd be a WHOLE different parody, and I really don't want to go there...;-)
Phil: I was wondering who was going to be the first to bring that up...I should've put some money on you, mate. If the stewardess mentioned WAS the cousin in question, that'd be a WHOLE different parody, and I really don't want to go there...;-)
I can tell you carefully crafted this parody instead of just winging it. Great from takeoff to landing!
loved it
Alofty triumph, Kristof. Too funny!
Thanks a bunch Rex, Ann, and TJC!!
Brilliant, and oh so true. I can tolerate the lousy food and the obligatory instructions on how to buckle (duh) and unbuckle (double duh) a seat belt, but strangers who just won't shut up drive me nuts. 555.
wow, you are on a roll this week, Kristof - any extra flashes of inspiration that you'd like to share with the rest of us - and points well-made too - ie. men dressed in plaid should have purpose-built aircraft - 555
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