(instrumental opening)

Well, I'm a-sitting at my desk
feeling kind of grotesque.
I got seven women on my mind.
Four, they think I'm funny.
And two, they want my money.
One says that she's just my kind.

Thirteen hundred.
Thirteen hundred.
That's a lot of parodies when all is done and said.

Lighten up on this website.
Just make sure to pace it right.
Like Sam Cooke, keep loose and light
'til thirteen hundred.

Well, I'm a-walking and a-roaming
in Laramie, Wyoming
and it's such a fine sight to see:
It's a girl, of course
on a flying horse
slowing down to take a look at me.

Come on, baby.
This is crazy.
I've got know if all my songs will not faze thee.
May get ones, and may get fives.
But as long as we are alive
we'll find a place to spread our jive.
Thriteen hundred!

(instrumental break)

Well, I'm a-sitting at my desk
feeling kind of grotesque.
Got a world of strangeness in my mind.
Looking for a lady
who doesn't think it's shady.
A real patient kind.

Thirteen hundred.
Thirteen hundred.
That's a lot of parodies when all is done and said.

Come on, baby.
This is crazy.
I've got know if all my songs
will not faze thee!

Oh, it's thirteen hundred!

I've written thirteen hundred!