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Song Parodies -> "Orthodontist"
Original Song Title:
"Desperado"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Eagles
Parody Song Title:
"Orthodontist"
Parody Written by:
Invisible Boy
The Lyrics
Orthodontist
Orthodontist, I’ve got a mouthful of metal
But my teeth still won’t settle
Let me explain
Just like a beaver
I have protruding incisors
My dental advisor’s now
Just causing me pain
Don’t you tighten my retainer, doc
My gums have started bleeding
And all those rubber-bands keep snapping…can’t you see ?
Though, this wire cage on my head
Helps me with something I’m needing
Now I’m getting HBO
On my TV
Orthodontist, why don’t you change your profession
Sign-up for a session
At Guantanamo
And torture, ohh torture
Soon detainees will be talking
The bill you’ll be chalking-up to their HMO
I guess you must know the Marquis-de-Sade
Your heart is cold and your soul is scarred
You’re getting so Medieval on my mouth
But, I know that with my choppers plumb
There’s no chance that folks will think I’m from
The South…
Orthodontist, I think I’ll start playing hockey
And be an ice-jockey…like Bobby Orr
When there’s a slap-shot…before the goalie can chop it
I’m gonna kiss the puck and drop it
(flash my grin, then crop it)
I’m gonna use my smile to stop it
Need braces no more
IB
Orthodontist, I’ve got a mouthful of metal
But my teeth still won’t settle
Let me explain
Just like a beaver
I have protruding incisors
My dental advisor’s now
Just causing me pain
Don’t you tighten my retainer, doc
My gums have started bleeding
And all those rubber-bands keep snapping…can’t you see ?
Though, this wire cage on my head
Helps me with something I’m needing
Now I’m getting HBO
On my TV
Orthodontist, why don’t you change your profession
Sign-up for a session
At Guantanamo
And torture, ohh torture
Soon detainees will be talking
The bill you’ll be chalking-up to their HMO
I guess you must know the Marquis-de-Sade
Your heart is cold and your soul is scarred
You’re getting so Medieval on my mouth
But, I know that with my choppers plumb
There’s no chance that folks will think I’m from
The South…
Orthodontist, I think I’ll start playing hockey
And be an ice-jockey…like Bobby Orr
When there’s a slap-shot…before the goalie can chop it
I’m gonna kiss the puck and drop it
(flash my grin, then crop it)
I’m gonna use my smile to stop it
Need braces no more
IB
I wanted to use a hockey reference in honor of Mr. Pacholek who seems to have parodied this OS more than anyone else here.
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| 5 | 18 | 18 | 18 |
User Comments
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Brilliant. Transcendental even. :-)
Orthodontal torture? Been watching Little Shop of Horrors recently? 555
Hmmm... I'm picturing the ever-delightful Joan Cusack riding the cheese (school bus) in "Sixteen Candles." One hasn't experienced _real_ orthodontic torture, tho', who hasn't been a parent paying for it. :-)
A parody you can really sink your teeth into..real biting satire....Lots of great metaphors
He shoots, he scores! (How's that for a hockey reference?) It may not have had a title that was a play on the word "Desperado" (hence my "bottom of the barrel" comment on "Desmond Child"), and a lot of the rhymes are different, but funny overcomes almost anything.
Oooooowwwww!!!! I had bad memories about having braces now, terrible times of my youth, but thankfully those days are done, and my teeth are free of that barbed wire.
my favorite of the day...hilarious lines but still matched the mournful tone of the OS...bravo !
Torture and HMO in the same breath--perfect!
I agree with alvin...best one today. Lots of LOL lines here.
555 Sir, for "You're getting so Medieval on my lips".
This was awesome, great idea,5s
Got an idea for you: To "Eye of the Tiger," how about "Aieeee! The Incisor!"
I want to thank you all for your comments today. I really appreciate it.
Michael...I like your suggestion. Thanks.This time my problem was I needed a song that started with the letter "O". But, I thought of a couple that you may be able to use for Desperado.
1.) Quasimodo
2.)Desmond Tutu...throw in a few DeBeers jokes, mention Nelson Mandala, compare South Africa to South Boston and end with a Red Sox slam...there, it's almost done ;-) Thanks !
Michael...I like your suggestion. Thanks.This time my problem was I needed a song that started with the letter "O". But, I thought of a couple that you may be able to use for Desperado.
1.) Quasimodo
2.)Desmond Tutu...throw in a few DeBeers jokes, mention Nelson Mandala, compare South Africa to South Boston and end with a Red Sox slam...there, it's almost done ;-) Thanks !
Something to sink your teeth into... 5-5-5
I love your commentary ~IB~ Your writing ability is just incredible! As it is with so many of our Knights!!
Oh they memories... Good job :)
"Orthodontist, why don’t you change your profession
Sign-up for a session
At Guantanamo" Was my favorite line of the entire parody, but this parody was chock full of Dental Humor, and oh man I can relate, I can relate indeed.
Great stuff, IB, brings back bad memories!
(ABC4-O) Invisaboy - I'm simply indentured to you for this very toothful look at the dentistry industry. Especially liked the Guantanamo ref. I've done this OS a couple of times and it can be a trick to do and the song is longer than most. So you get a lot of points from me on this one. Well done.
(ABC) Very nice, IB...OTM with my memories of my ortho (the jerk).
(ABC) memo to self: must do this OS one day - lovely flow, IB, and some great lines, although if you're able to pick up HBO, there's a chance you could turn this around for a tidy profit - that'll teach em - 555
See above!
(ABC3O) Such is my fear of dentistry, I almost had a panic attack reading this....but I'm glad I managed it. Superb...555+
The tooth can be painful, but this was very good! You got good stuff!
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