The Lyrics
(Ow, oh, yow, whoa, got- -ta go)
(Balls: blue; need... to... let 'em blow)
Do you remember back in Idaho (Boise, go)
When ev'ry girl we asked would "Just Say No" (Girls: "Eeh, No!")
We couldn't even find a decent wh*re
They wanted you, but only marryin' male
Remember pantin' til your pants would pop? (OMG!)
The dress I ruined when I shot my slop? (What a wad!) [2]
We're buyin' Penthouse™ at the corner store
Sneakin', peekin': pictures of some phony tail [P]
Sheep, Baby!
Sheep, Baby,
Good for your gland
Giving someplace where I put my member
Flockin' good cure
For your c**k, it was sure
In her moon, tight
Sheep, Baby,
Sheep, Babe, re-
-lief is "at hand"
In July's heat or snows of December
Shtuppin' each one
We could shoot off our guns; roll in hay
Ugh!
No girl would have a hand to lend
Uh, - oh!
Bum!
They wanted only: be your "friend"
Oh, - no!
Long, hot dates
Nev-er mates
M*sturb*tes
But sheep are waiting to play!
Baaaaaaahh...
Do it, do
Me and ewe
That makes tewe
Bah! Aah!, Baaaa, Ha!, Baah, baaaa yeaa!
They all would wait till conjugation day [3] (Aisle, show)
Pet in the car, but not go "all the way" (Hit plateau)
Would not put out until you coughed up ring
Not "yes"; they won't dismember shroud on thing
Sheep, Baby!
Sheep, Baby,
Happily manned
Goin' logging till I fell my timber
Front or back door
Never balk, always score
Wooly poon, white
Sheep, Baby!
Sheep, Baby,
Out in ranch land
Sure supply; always bend, lamb is limber
Certain "shear" fun;
We would go "one on one" ev'ry day!
[mewesical interl-ewe-d, with shouts of joy]
Whoop de do
T for Two:
Lamb 'n ewe....
[Baaa, yeah!, Y-abba-ah D-abba-ah, Do!] [4]
[Sheep, Baby! Cheap, lay me! Sleep, maybe! (Creep? Hey, *me*?! ) Leap, may we? Heap, lay we! ]
[Baaa, yeah!, Lla-ma? That-'ll do!]
[Bleep, Baby! Deep, Babe! Bo-peep: maybe weep? Meryl Streep? Nay, me; keep, Lady...]
[repeat until ewe've had enough, then fade back into town and meet your girl, happy for once]
[1] Despite the fact that the state is completely land-locked, the U.S. Government has a top-secret research center for submarine nuclear reactors there. TT knows why they put it there, but if he were to tell you, he'd have to kill you... ;)
[2] This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any actual persons or incidents, including, but not limited to, Presidents and their interns, is unintentional and strictly coincidental.
[P] Pacing note: OS line is "With the beat-up sneakers and the pony tail". Singers elide "With the" to barely audible, but that's where "Sneekin' " fits.
[3] Not literally correct; rather, a back-formation from "conjugal" = "of, pertaining to, or characteristic of marriage, e. g. 'conjugal vows'."
[4] Still trying to sneak an ABBA reference into the Flintstonian cry of delight, in line with this week's tributes to the group's Hall Of Fame induction on March 15, 2010