Ba... Ba... Ba... Ba... Ba Ba... Ba... Ba... Ba... Ba... Ba... Ba... Ba... Ba...

I'm thirteen and struggling with new feelings
I've never ever had to deal with
A stirring that keeps coming from my loins
I do what Sister said and say a Rosary instead
But it doesn't do the trick
I need help and need it quick

I'm going Crazy (He's going crazy)

This morning, I woke up with this feeling
I wasn't sure what to do with
And so I just decided to myself
I'd deal with it myself
And never talk about it
But boy I started shouting
When mum walked into the room...

That's when she saw me! (That's when she saw me)

That's when she saw me
She caught me single handled
I tried to lie by saying
It's a new math way of praying
So please believe me
I really have learned my lesson
It's made my libido wilt
I'm so filled with catholic guilt
I'll go and say A Glory Be
Our Father & A Hail Mary
Will I end up in purgatory?

Oh Father help me
From this sticky situation
From my mothers constant calling
For my excommunication
I've learned my lesson
So I'll never ever have this problem
I'll learn to bottle it within
I've committed mortal sin?

Please Father;
I'd really like to say I'm sorry
I know I should have never touched it
So if you say, "Go cut it off" I will
I'd rather my hands binded
Than to do it and be blinded
(pause_
You say you've got the problem too?
Is there something I can do?
Out in the rectory?