I did what I did for Maria

Sometimes, you can be breaking your neck for a Pee
but a far worse thing just happened to me
as i suffered a bout of Diarrhoea
when I did what I did in IKEA

I was badly caught short, there was no-one around
I was feeling the strain, and my trousers came down
it was hot it was brown, as it lay on the ground
and I hoped no one would come near
when I did what I did in IKEA

Then I pulled up my pants, and I run for my life
as the tannoy announced, “Clean up on Aisle five”
then I sprinted right past the cashier
and I left what I did in IKEA

After, I warned some people outside in the queue
that I would give it a minute or two
and I’d wait till they sound the all clear
from the mess that I left in IKEA

There are people who say what I did was quite apt
and it does make a change, someone giving them crap
so I went on my way in good cheer
after leaving my load in IKEA.
END