[I -- Your 'Do]


I've seen ol' Ted Koppel turn his head both ways
And still his hair stays in one place
I've seen ol' Ted Koppel turn his head both ways
And still his hair stays in one place

Be it straight, or fine, or coarse, it's a cover for your head
Comb it over, make it last, there isn't enough to fully spread

'Cause it grows is grown ingrown as you grow and it grew
Combed over...more is seen to lose

Move it over any blank spot
Lose the gleaming shine you've got
Just remember that your hair
Should look as though it's nature's garden spot

Must surround your head with your hair
Comb up from your ears
Send a blast of Conair to heat
And frizzle it, then trim with shears
(Must surround your head)

'Cause it combs is combed in-combing over as you comb
It over...baldy sheen to lose

Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda
(Must surround your head with your hair)

Donald Trump has hair like an elf
Wrestling with a bear
Sends a blast of helium gas
And twizzles it, into the air
(Donald Trump has hair like an elf)

'Cause it swirls is swirled in twirls like two girls' curls, and then
Hops over...like a kangaroo

Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda (All we are seeing)
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda (In Paris and France)
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda (All we are seeing)
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda (Is hair that can dance)

'Cause it's heaped it creeps in leaps like two sheep ankle-deep
In cotton...


[II -- Ol' Ted Koppel]


I've seen ol' Ted Koppel turn his head both ways
And still his hair stays in one place

I've seen ol' Ted Koppel nodding up and down
And still his hair is forward bound

I've seen ol' Ted Koppel looking back and forth
And still his hair is pointed north

I've seen ol' Ted Koppel glancing all around
And still his hair is bolted down

I've seen ol' Ted Koppel lookin here and there
With no displacement of his hair

I've seen ol' Ted Koppel take a windy blast
With his hair helmet standing fast

I've seen ol' Ted Koppel bob his head about
With chunks of hairspray falling out

I've seen ol' Ted Koppel turn his head both ways
And still his hair stays in one place (repeat)