She was a heavy teen
She really loved to eat
Was the biggest woman...
That I've ever seen

Would clean every bowl
Just like a big black hole
Knocking me out
With those American roles

But she wore a thong
And that was just plain wrong
Then she would see some food
And she would start to run

And the house was shaking
Earth was quaking
Cause cookies were baking
And I was saying

That you shouldn't wear a thong
Yeah you shouldn't wear a thong

She doesn't exercise
Cause she's not that wise
She just sits on the couch
Eating apple pies

We go to the store
It's just chicken galore
She eats fifteen pieces
And comes back fore more

So we go down town
Cause she's a chocolate hound
She just eats it down
Just pound by pound

And she just kept eating
Her weights increasing
There's people fleeing
And I was thinking

That you shouldn't wear a thong
No you shouldn't wear a thong

(Because you're heavy now)

You shouldn't wear a thong

(Those things are tiny so)

You shouldn't wear a thong!

No you shouldn't!
That things tiny!

(Guitar solo)

You shouldn't wear a thong
No you shouldn't wear a thong

(That thing is tiny so)

You shouldn't wear a thong

(Because you're heavy yeah)

You shouldn't wear a thong!

No you shouldn't

You're so heavy!

Don't wear thongs!