What few realise, perhaps even know
The hardest part of bein' a hero
Isn't bruises or the bad girl cocktease
It's comin' up with one-liners with ease

Do I pun on how their spine's now twisty?
Makin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me
Do I make a ref'rence to Sherlock? See?
Spoutin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me
Uh-huh-huh

You may laugh a lot, but it's hard, okay?
Cause it means that you have to split your brain
Between thinkin' of quips and punchin' Lord Dire
Or whichever twat set this house on fire

Do I pun on how his name's real shitty?
Spoutin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me
Do I make a ref'rence to Red Dwarf? See?
Makin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me
Uh-huh-huh

And what happens if my quips end up flawed?
I'd be a buffoon, such a total dork
Might say "at least the crooks were foiled thanks to you"
That may well be, dude, still feel like a doof

Do I pun on how his face ain't pretty?
Makin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me
Do I make a ref'rence to Tintin? See?
Spoutin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me
Uh-huh-huh

I could make a list of quips for each foe
Plan 'em beforehand, slight hitch with that, though
Fact: I've got issues with my memory
So I will forget, back to square one, geez

Still don't have a rep as a punner, 'kay
Means expectations for my puns aren't great
Reinvent myself as the silent type
Don't think that'll work, I can't shut up, right

Simple to hu-u-urt all the bad guys, all right (uh-huh-huh)
My main problem i-is (uh-uh, uh-huh-huh)
My quippin' skills are shite, ooh-wa, ooh-wa (uh-uh)
Feel like a je-erk (do I pun on how he's got a wedgie?)
When I freeze in a fight (spoutin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me, uh-huh-huh)
Because I just can't think o-of (uh-uh, uh-huh-huh)
A pun that works all right, ooh, ooh (uh-uh)
Feel like a twe-erp (do I make a ref'rence to Beast Wars? See?)
I can't choke in a fight (makin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me, uh-huh-huh)
Oh, oh, because I just can't think o-of (uh-uh, uh-huh-huh)
A decent endin' line, good endin' line, oh (uh-uh)
Feel like a je-erk (do I pun on how I just broke his knees?)
Still haven't lost a fight (spoutin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me, uh-huh-huh)
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, cause my powe-ers (uh-uh, uh-huh-huh)
Are of the OP type, can't touch me, oh (uh-uh)
Feel like a twe-erp (do I make a ref'rence to Hot Fuzz? See?)
Makes me more clumsy, right (makin' quips is hard, what's the trick? Search me)