at first i was afraid, i was petrified
by the ugly w*nker that was lying by my side.
I would've drunk a little less, i would've
Tried to keep my head, if i'd known for just one second i'd be in
your crusty bed.....

i tried to go, walk out the door.
But i laughed so hard at your small kn*b that
I've fallen on the floor
your butt's a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace
but i'd rather look at that, than at your
f***ing ugly face.......!

I want to go, i've gotta leave
your talk of birds and football really makes
me wanna heave
i only know i've gotta stop my drinking
spirits and the beer
coz when i looked at you last nite you
looked just like Richard Gere!

Please let me go, i feel quite sick
we had the worst s*x in the world and you're
an ugly pr*ck
i should have sh*gged your gorgeous mate,
at leasthe's got a lovely flat
but no i go & trust the booze and now i'm
stuck with you, you tw*t.

it's time to go, run out the door
you look so ugly it should really be against the law
i'm going to give up all the booze, i'm gonna
have no stupid fun
coz waking up beside your mug, just makes me
wanna run!!!!

I WILL SURVIVE!!!!!!!!!