Now here's a little story I've got to tell
About how a good life can go to hell
The benefits can't kill misery
Let's back up, the last day I could be seen
The label on the bottle said "All Too Clear"
Was lookin' for bottles that had more good beer
Downed it in a flash, tasted real bad
Not the first time that I've failed like that when I'm smashed
Vodka drowns my memories
Like how my roommate's all science-y
A warnin' label on the fridge? Don't mean crap
Was focused on the plonk, no messages on that
His formula worked, I wasn't caught in time
And now I have to wait 'til an antidote's imbibed

More to my little story, it's gonna get much worse
Whole lotta things suck 'cause I was dyin' of thirst
The brew was in my hand and then I nearly flipped
Because it hovered there and I got sober super quick
Still felt the bottle on my skin and when it dropped
I could see the blood pour out from the blank spots
Sure dropped my jaw, no-one could see it
Except my roommate equipped with his science headset
Such a bored look on his face, better than one that could kill (yeah)
Used to my drunken antics, so much stuff that I've spilled (yeah)
So much I thought was beer, dealt with elephant ears (uh-huh)
I should be glad my form's intact, just made myself clear
The lesson is: I shoud quit drink, hope this time that'll stick
Not hard to force me sober, I can't judge where my hand is

Invisible putz 'cause of that brew
Lost my employment, my boss is a douche
It's true I couldn't tell him the truth, you see
But he saw through my fake cough real easily
Forced to be a recluse, only text chattin' is on offer
You'd think it's time for sweet pranks, an invisible bother
The fake ghostly lift, the forced dessert splat
And my list makin' ended with that
So there isn't much that's positive, bud
And even then it's limited with the fun
Can't turn it off and make a game
Of pretendin' the one that you've pranked is insane
I mean, it's no wonder that Sue Storm's now got
The forcefields to make her really earn her damn spot
And so I'm starin' at the Internet hard
Ignorin' the calls from my standard run of bars
Bet that they get half their income from my trips
But I won't visit even once I'm fixed
And that's 'cause not only will I save money
I won't get screamed at with words like "This ain't funny!"
Mocked my mate badly 'cause I asked him "Why
Not rig somethin' up to fake I'm fine?
Holograms are all the rage, I'm sure
You're into that shit since you're a big dork"
Holy crap, did my boy get pissed
So much about science that I still need to get
All the fields are diff'rent and that won't change
So he can't make a hologram, his expertise is DNA
The hologram is out, he's also dropped
The head-to-toe cover-up plot
Even if the weather was much closer to cold
I'd mess my breathin', I'll wait, this is balls