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Song Parodies -> "We Want to Kick the Tires"
Original Song Title:
"We Didn't Start the Fire"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Billy Joel
Parody Song Title:
"We Want to Kick the Tires"
Parody Written by:
wannabemustangjockey
The Lyrics
Has a car salesman ever tried to impress you with his "knowledge" of cars in order to get you to buy one from him -- and then you found out he was lying?
[CUSTOMERS, reading car ads on dealer lot]
Sherwood Mazda, sale today -- wait a few - months to pay
Honda Civic, credit limit, pimp out my Geo
Henry Curtis Ford and Lincoln, Navigator bling-o-vision
Brand new Kia, South Korean, Hyundai Elan-tra
Thunderbird, F-Bod...Firebird Firehawk
Suzuki Samurai, BMW X5
Brand new Mustang, dark green, inspired by Steve McQueen
Fancy Bimmer 7-Series, not equipped with "iDrive"
[CUSTOMERS]
We may be first-time buyers
Who don't know what we want
But let's see what you've got
We may be first-time buyers
But don't take advantage
..'Cause you'll hear some rantage
[SMILING SALESMAN, extolling the virtues of the "perfect car"]
Cadillackadaisical, pitch it for a better mill
Fuel-injected, wear-protected, alumi-num block
Touch-tone mobile phone, navigation, free roam
Crystalline "Bvlgari Europe"-designed clock
Air bags, chrome mags, wins at all the stoplight drags
Storage pockets, leather seats, lumbar support, cold and heat
Low front, hot rod rake, power steering, power brakes
Dash displays, wood inlays, too bad it all looks fake
[CUSTOMERS]
We want to kick the tires
We are still just shopping
Till the price is dropping
We want to kick the tires
Look how fast they're turning!
You smell something burning?
[SALESMAN, smile fading]
Folding seats - on a track, 60/40 row in back
TVs, DVD, new XBox 360
Dual exhaust, quick defrost, nav in case you get lost
Floor mats are thrown in free, 10 grand off this SUV
Euro-flavor mohair, space saver donut spare
Two-door coupes...they're hot, Edsel on the back lot
Z3, RX-8, most alphanumeric names
Toyo-ta A-valon, radar so you're not caught
[CUSTOMERS]
Why is it so much higher?
(That's) not the price you quoted
How'd it get so bloated?
Why is it so much higher?
Yes I'm sure it's nifty...
But it's not worth fifty!
[SALESMAN, turning red]
Six-CD dash stack, put stuff on the roof rack
Glove box, gas shocks, power windows and locks
Mirrors for your vanity, OnStar for your sanity
Low miles, auto-dim, carbon-fiber-look trim
Clear blue - xenon lights -- best for when you drive at night
Package tray, luggage bay, what else do I have to say?
[CUSTOMERS]
Hey mister, where's the fire?
Why are you so worried?
And in such a hurry?
Hey mister, where's the fire?
We shop at our leisure
Please don't have a seizure
[SALESMAN, veins bulging]
Auto trans, window tint, navigation once again
Moonroof, storage slots, warranty a-gainst rot
Bug de-flector, double stripes, air conditioned -- blows ice
Hybrid power -- running green, flashy chrome will get you seen
Never smoked in, never crashed, never broken, not a scratch
Title's clear, bought new here, won - Car - of the Year
Best of Consumer Reports, won acclaim in peace and war
Holds a bunch of two-by-fours, please don't make me list some more...
[CUSTOMERS]
We think that you're a liar
There's no car with all that
What you've said is all crap
We think that you're a liar
(But) We could help you move it
...If you take us to it
We didn't cause your ire
But when we have gone
Lead some sucker on, and on, and on, and on...
Sherwood Mazda, sale today -- wait a few - months to pay
Honda Civic, credit limit, pimp out my Geo
Henry Curtis Ford and Lincoln, Navigator bling-o-vision
Brand new Kia, South Korean, Hyundai Elan-tra
Thunderbird, F-Bod...Firebird Firehawk
Suzuki Samurai, BMW X5
Brand new Mustang, dark green, inspired by Steve McQueen
Fancy Bimmer 7-Series, not equipped with "iDrive"
[CUSTOMERS]
We may be first-time buyers
Who don't know what we want
But let's see what you've got
We may be first-time buyers
But don't take advantage
..'Cause you'll hear some rantage
[SMILING SALESMAN, extolling the virtues of the "perfect car"]
Cadillackadaisical, pitch it for a better mill
Fuel-injected, wear-protected, alumi-num block
Touch-tone mobile phone, navigation, free roam
Crystalline "Bvlgari Europe"-designed clock
Air bags, chrome mags, wins at all the stoplight drags
Storage pockets, leather seats, lumbar support, cold and heat
Low front, hot rod rake, power steering, power brakes
Dash displays, wood inlays, too bad it all looks fake
[CUSTOMERS]
We want to kick the tires
We are still just shopping
Till the price is dropping
We want to kick the tires
Look how fast they're turning!
You smell something burning?
[SALESMAN, smile fading]
Folding seats - on a track, 60/40 row in back
TVs, DVD, new XBox 360
Dual exhaust, quick defrost, nav in case you get lost
Floor mats are thrown in free, 10 grand off this SUV
Euro-flavor mohair, space saver donut spare
Two-door coupes...they're hot, Edsel on the back lot
Z3, RX-8, most alphanumeric names
Toyo-ta A-valon, radar so you're not caught
[CUSTOMERS]
Why is it so much higher?
(That's) not the price you quoted
How'd it get so bloated?
Why is it so much higher?
Yes I'm sure it's nifty...
But it's not worth fifty!
[SALESMAN, turning red]
Six-CD dash stack, put stuff on the roof rack
Glove box, gas shocks, power windows and locks
Mirrors for your vanity, OnStar for your sanity
Low miles, auto-dim, carbon-fiber-look trim
Clear blue - xenon lights -- best for when you drive at night
Package tray, luggage bay, what else do I have to say?
[CUSTOMERS]
Hey mister, where's the fire?
Why are you so worried?
And in such a hurry?
Hey mister, where's the fire?
We shop at our leisure
Please don't have a seizure
[SALESMAN, veins bulging]
Auto trans, window tint, navigation once again
Moonroof, storage slots, warranty a-gainst rot
Bug de-flector, double stripes, air conditioned -- blows ice
Hybrid power -- running green, flashy chrome will get you seen
Never smoked in, never crashed, never broken, not a scratch
Title's clear, bought new here, won - Car - of the Year
Best of Consumer Reports, won acclaim in peace and war
Holds a bunch of two-by-fours, please don't make me list some more...
[CUSTOMERS]
We think that you're a liar
There's no car with all that
What you've said is all crap
We think that you're a liar
(But) We could help you move it
...If you take us to it
We didn't cause your ire
But when we have gone
Lead some sucker on, and on, and on, and on...
(c) 2006 Jay the Wannabe Mustang Jockey. I don't just write song parodies
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 2 | 3 | ||||||||
| 5 | 23 | 23 | 23 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
oh...My...God, again - there's synchronicity going on today - combine this with MP's parody today, and you have my tonight's submission - excellent stuff here, mustang - esp. liked Cadillackadaisical - 555
HO. LY. *beeeeeeeeep* Flat-out ASTOUNDING, WMJ. Stu beat me to the punch for the "Cadillackadaisical," but there are so so SO many other good lines..."alphanumeric names," "OnStar for your sanity," "bling-o-vision," and every one of the choruses. You know what? I'm just gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say TMGLTM, you definitely deserve it.
(SOTM) I'm surprised this has so few votes. Definitely a 555 in my blue book.
Oops, I was reading SOTM parodies and clicked over to today's page, thinking I was still in the March SOTM stuff. I'm sure I'll see this in April's entries though.
Flat out top-notch stuff. Great lines everywhere, and easy to picture. This would be a great SNL spoof. Super high 5's from me.
Very high revving parody, 555 mph
Very good, wannaB...one of your best.
I just noticed that this is the 200th Billy Joel parody...
(SOTM) see above
(SOTM) That was weird, I was trying to write this comment and the window just closed. how beeeeeeeped up is that? At least I could make a pun out of it. This is officially the first time I have ever heard TOS, and I couldn't have done it without altavista.com. The pacing was perfect, the lyrics were a riot, and I love the alternating choruses. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Weird Al pioneer alternating choruses or was he predated? This parody is in no need of a ticket. 555
Excellent!!!! I've been wanting to make a parody of this one for a long time. Forgive me for being surprised at how well the pacing is, I can only imagine the hell.
(SOTM) An amazing achievement here. It auto do well in the SOTM.
(SOTM) See above.
(SOTM) See above! Still lovin' it! And the "Edsel on the back lot" line I missed the first time around was especially good. =) And I listened to the OS on my iPod while reading this, the pacing was almost perfectly spot-on.
(SOTM) Very smoothly done, mustangjockey. It seems you got your parallel with my entry after all. The two seem to have a "before(yours) and after(mine)" tone. Yours is better though. :-)
This parody gets great gas millage, 555 miles to the gallon!!!
SOTM-555
SOTM - I'd like to combine this parody with Stu's - that is I'd like to have all those women he desired in the backseat of this car - and then if you see it rocking, don't come a-knocking! :-)
(SOTM) Holy crap! It's one thing to tackle such a monstrosity of an OS in the first place. It's another thing to think of an original idea to make the parody about. But to nail the pacing, be freakin' HILARIOUS, alternating choruses, name-drops AND a sloly enraging salesman?! This is definitely on the top of the list of 'Best Parody I Read Today...er, This Week...er, Month'.
(SOTM) Excellent parody, Jay, and solid throughout. I'm sold. 5s.
(SOTM) Superlative wordsmithing!
Thought I'd commented on this one, too: loved "Cadillackadaisical" (I guess I'm not the only one).
(SOTM) yeah, I love this one - making the whole song about cars is funny in itself, wannabe - I wish you'd chosen another month though! ;-)
SOTM...this OS has replaced the Major General Song on my list of those that I can't imagine doing. I might give 5s for even attempting it...but this is great...=)
(SOTM) See above, and appropriate subject for a Billy Joel parody.
Checkin' out the SOTM results... Fantastic stuff, Jockey Jay. I'm not nearly enough of a masochist to play the OS along with this, so I'll trust the pacing commendations from those who did. Your encyclopedic car knowledge pays off again. Woo-hoo!
I didn't even notice this one until now, but it's a worthy SOTM winner. But I should point out that it's the 200th parody of a Billy Joel song from the 1980s, not the 200th overall BJ parody. (And a LOT of them are mine.) You sure started something with this parody -- although I'm not sure the car was started!
It's hard to here the parody with just the words. Is there a way to "Hear" it?
(SOTY) Still a great one, WBMJ and, I think "da parish" just pointed out why the rest of the world just doesn't understand us.
(SOTY) Well, We Didn't Start the Fire appears to be a major parody target too. . .and it's a list parody in almost all examples I've seen it's good, but I think by you I have one's I like better.
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