Listen, Pat
I'll tell you a secret
That will make your ratings soar
And I'll bet it's more effective than making Vanna
dress up like a whore:
When a player can't deduce S-H-blank-T
There's a way to help her solve it easily…

Sometimes, Pat
You need drastic measures
To remain the game show king
Because William Shatner and Howie Mandel
Both are waiting in the wings
When a player's blanking on D-blank-C-K
There's a way to let her solve it anyway…

Sell her a vowel…
Like an 'I' – no -- 'O' and 'E'!
Let her solve that 'Shot' or 'Deck'
(Cause what else would I mean?)
Sell her a vowel
Just to put her mind at ease
Give away Merv's money
And the sponsors will be pleased

Cause now and then,
A player might blank out
On what word 'C-blank-N-T' might represent
But if you let them buy an 'U' -- no -- 'E'!
Then they're sure to find their cash has been well-spent

Listen, Pat
I don't give a shot about you and that Vanna cent
You're a deck, and when I said that,
I think you know just what I really meant
I am giving you these hints just to be nice
And don't give a shot if you take my advice

Sell her a vowel…
Sell her a vowel…
Sell her a vowel…
Sell her a vowel…