What's the matter with the trolls you're making
Can't you tell that your trick's too lame?
Maybe you should get a new sockpuppet
We're all wise to your silly game
Where you been hiding out lately, honey
Your dumb impressions ain't exactly on the money
You may think this game of yours is really, really funny
But you're still Burke The Troll to me

What's the matter with the socks you're wearing
Can't you tell that they're out of style
Maybe you should talk to Victor Pinamont
If you want advice on being vile
Nowadays you can't be too afraid of scolding
Just ask Peter Seebach, or even Robert Baldwin
It's a bad joke, great bore, all been done before,
And still Burke The Troll to me

Doesn't matter what they say in your fan club
'cause you've always been the same old freak
There's a new thread in town, where we're shouting you down
Every time that you start to speak
So much for your fit of pique

You should get a pair of dark sunglasses
Just to wear when you write your rants
You could really make some much nicer posts
If you just left them up to chance
Don't waste your money on a set of newsreaders
Just go down the zoo and feed yourself to the cheetahs
Full of old junk, who'd a thunk, make more sense if you were drunk
And still Burke The Troll To Me

What's the matter with the trolls you're making
Can't you tell that you've missed the boat?
You've been doing this for days now, Chrissie
Well, perhaps you should get your coat
Where you been hiding out lately, honey?
This war will make you waste a lot of time and money
When you lose, you sure as hell ain't gonna be a happy bunny
And you're still Burke The Troll to me

When you lose, you sure as hell ain't gonna be a happy bunny
And you're still Burke The Troll to me