I'll Smell You Just The Way You Are

Don't go changing and wear new undies,
There's ones with skid marks in the drawer.
Your smelly buttocks, they are the reason,
Why all your odors I abhor.

I always leave you, when your butt bubbles,
When you blow out your rectal juice.
There are no good times, there's just the bad times,
When your bowels are really loose.

Don't go trying some new fashion.
Don't change the color of your skin.
Your color always is really ashen.
Reveals your ethnically a Finn.

I don't want clever conversation,
Each time I sit right down to dump,
I just want someone, who I can talk to,
While she caresses my fat rump.

I need to know that you will always pee
Around the time when you excrete.
When will you know how to relieve yourself,
And not be pissing on your feet.

I said I love you, and that's my problem.
I promised that I'd smell your gas.
Your bowel habits, I'd never fetter.
I'll let you manage your own ass.