Every weekday morning, at the break of dawn
I stumble out of bed and put the coffee on
Every weekday morning, there’s a clock to punch
Prepping for the day, I make my lunch

I grab a loaf of bread, some mayo from the fridge
A tasty sandwich soon to fix
I scan the pantry shelves for one specific can, can
But I find a wrench is in my plan

Oh, I see there’s no tuna
But there just has to be!
Wish I’d thought of it sooner
I need Chicken of the Sea®. Ooooh, oh-nooooo!

I slam the pantry door, the cats run off and hide
They’re the Chickens of the Domicile®
Then I grab my keys and coat, and glide across the floor
Soon I’m racing to the grocery store

There they say, “Here’s the tuna, yeah
But it’s just Bumblebee®
Had you gotten here sooner
We had Chicken of the Sea®.” Noooooooooo!

In the canned meat aisle, running out of time
I mourn the poultry-fish, specie sublime
In the canned meat aisle, do I compromise?
Reaching for Starkist®, tears fill my eyes

Oh, it says that it’s tuna
But I must disagree
For there’s only one tuna
Is this tuna lunacy? Hmmm?

Look out!
The sky is falling down!

Look out!
The Chicken of the Sea® cannot be found!

Look out!
I think that I may cry, cry

Look out!
It’s never never never…oh, look, pie!

Look out!