Tommy has to prove he's a jock
everybody knows
a jock he is so...so not!
so not!

Katie wants to boost her career
...answers Tommy's call
then pretends to fall...for Tom
for Tom

they've-gotta-give-their
romance
a booster shot
it doesn't make a difference if they fake it or not
they think a baby
might just hit the jack-pot


They work at it.......(not!)


HOW
did she childbear?
He has
never been in there
Suri's birth
is baffling I swear
coz he's
never been in there


Tommy hides poor Suri away
so noone can tell
that-she only shares her looks with Kate
with Kate

Katie dreams of running away
she tries in the night (Tommy grabs her)
"Katie will NOT stray!
OKAY?"

he's gotta MAKE out
they're both alright
he didn't jump that couch to see her bolting in fright
he can't tell Oprah
his flame Kate can't ignite


CAREER GOODNIGHT!!


HOW
did Kate childbear?
with-out
removing underwear
con-ception
immaculate? (meh...)
if not
who has been in there?
(who has been in there-re-re?)


oooooooooh
and-if-she leaves, there's
no turning back
three children, three exes, and no film cont-ract
ohhhhh...
it all goes pear
-shaped if
Katie solitaires
Kate at least
always does what he says
e-ven
attends his premieres

HOW
was Suri born?
may...be
L. Ron Hubbard's spawn
hmm, she looks...
just a bit like Vince Vaughan
am I
starting to get warm?

HOW
did Kate childbear?
down that
Tom-free thoroughfare?

(fade)