Not a sound
Every now and then I get oh so very gassy
But I never make a sound
Not a sound
Every now and then I get oh so very hungry
And I eat a big plate full of beans
Not a sound
Every now and then I get oh so very gaseous
It smells like something crawled in me and died
Not a sound
Every now and then you say you wish you'd been notified
And you don't need that kind of surprise
Not a sound, surprise!
Every now and then I cut a fart.
Not a sound, surprise!
Every now and then I cut a fart.
Not a sound
Every now and then I get gas from what I digest
And the smell's not something mild
Not a sound
Every now and then I hear you make a big protest
And that you had no fair warning alarm
Not a sound
Every now and then I get a little bit windy
And you know I've got to let the gas fly
Not a sound
Every now and then you say you wish you'd been notified
And you don't need that kind of surprise
Not a sound, surprise!
Every now and then I cut a fart
Not a sound, surprise!
Every now and then I cut a fart
Could be cuttin' cheese all night
And it's smelling worse than ever
And if you hold your nose real tight
Could be holding it forever
You say I need a warning light
'Cause my gas smells so strong
You tell me that I need to give you some kind of sign
And you say the awful gas from me smells worse than swine
I don't know what to do and I can't plug up my ass
My bowels are like a full beer keg that's giving off gas
I really cut cheese alright
I really cut the cheese alright
I really cut the cheese alright
Once upon a time, gas my bowel was free of
But now I'm always blowing a fart
That awful smell of poo
A silent release of a fart
Once upon a time my farts were oh so light
But now I can't get close to a spark
Do it every day
A silent release of a fart

Not a sound, surprise!
Not a sound, surprise!
Not a sound
Every now and then I lay an evil smelling cloud
That smells like limburger cheese
Not a sound
And every now and then I know I'll always let
The smelly gas go blowin' out of my big fat ass
Not a sound
Every now and then my colon's full up
And I must expel my horrible malodorous fumes
Not a sound
Every now and then I blow
It doesn't smell like heather
It smells an awful lot like the zoo
Not a sound, surprise!
Every now and then I cut a fart
Not a sound, surprise!
Every now and then I cut a fart
Could be cuttin' cheese all night
And it's smelling worse than ever
Once upon a time, gas my bowel was free of
But now I'm always blowing a fart
Awful smell of poo
A silent release of a fart
Once upon a time my farts were oh so light
But now I can't get close to a spark
Do it every day
A silent release of a fart
A silent release of a fart
A silent release of a fart
Not a sound, surprise!
Not a sound, surprise!
Not a sound