I had mouthwash that would get rid of bad breath
Some months ago
I would gargle for a minute
I bugged the neighbors so, yeah
Had the windows open so that they could hear
It was 4 am, and they all ran out
They went back inside after yelling at me
But then they just sat and talked about

Gargling, well it's a big noise
Gargling, it's not one of life's greater joys
Gargling, Gargling

Well there's a girl that lives up the block
Back in school she just gargled the whole time
Oh, we all heard her in the bathroom, gargling real loud
We thought that she had lost her mind
Her and her husband Bobby well they split up
Wonder what the reason could be
We just sit around talking about the old times,
She always feels like gargling
Now I hear it, annoying me

Gargling, well it's a big noise
Gargling, it's not one of life's greater joys
Gargling, Gargling

Think I'm going to the bathroom tonight
And I'm going to gargle, oh yeah I will
And I hope I won't drink it
And won't lie around poisoned from mouthwash
Barf out the window sill
Yeah, just sitting back, trying more gargling, and bug all of the neighbors, ugh
But time slipped away and I need more mouthwash again, and
I've got more tales of

Gargling, well it's a big noise
Gargling, it's not one of life's greater joys
Gargling, Gargling