The first time I met you, we both were seventeen,
Even back then, though, you were no beauty queen.
You told me there and then that I had to make you mine.
But who would have known it would take so damn much time.

Ca-mi-lla.
Girl you got me on my knees.
Ca-mi-lla.
I'm scratching so, I must have fleas.

Ca-mi-lla.
You made my marriage go to hell.
Ca-mi-lla.
Still looking for those wedding bells.

(riff)

My family all wonders what's going through my mind.
Because I dumped Diana, I really must be blind.
So now that we're together, you'll get your fondest wish.
Your name and a crown on your Rottweiler dish.

Ca-mi-lla.
You're way too old to need the pill.
Ca-mi-lla.
But wait till I get the dental bill.

Ca-mi-lla.
You get along with your kids and ex.
Ca-mi-lla.
They let us use your place for sex.

(riff)

So you say you wanna marry.
What's the rush now, we both got ugly.
So you'll never be a queen, now.
Let it go now. Oh yeah.
My friends and the people all tell me what they think.
The things they're all saying are driving me to drink.
Forget all about them, we're walking down the aisle,
Just do me a favour. For heaven's sake don't smile.

Ca-mi-lla.
I just can't get you off my mind.
Ca-mi-lla.
My horse is stuck to your be-hind.

Ca-mi-lla.
You still talk dirty on the phone.
Ca-mi-lla.
I wish they'd just leave us alone.