Well I'm at Victoria Coach Station
Where from London all the coaches go
Going to every city you can think of
And I'm standing at the right stand
For the coaches going north
Scared beyond belief among a crowd of people
And the perverted fear of Barnsley
Wipes the smile from every face
Someone even shouts out bloody hell
This ain't no sought after vacation
Oh no, this is the coach to Hull

And all the coaches come together
And there is nothing you can do
There's people with suitcases and rucksacks
All pushing their way past you
Oh look out friend take a good look
Because there's a queue here
You must get yourself to the back
If you're going to Hull
This ain't no tropical holiday destination
Oh no this is is the coach, this is the coach
This is the coach to Hull