[Verse 1]
I talk the dog in the house,
I said, "Dog, is this a Muppet or a Mouse?".
He smiled and he stated,
"D, I'm over-rated,
I had too much credit in these old Muppet skits."

[Chorus]
"I don't know a thing about Muppets,
I just kind of think of them as sock puppets,
I just watch from my ball,
Will Muppets rise, or will they fall?
I don't know a thing about Muppets".

[Verse 2]
Then I ask him, "Where are they today?
You must see all the games that they play'".
He said, "D, I can tell them, things that might hurt them,
But I don't get a dog bone with one anyway".

[Chorus]
"I don't know a thing about Muppets,
I just kind of think of them as sock puppets,
I just watch from my ball,
Will Muppets rise, or will they fall?
I don't know a thing about Muppets".

[Verse 3]
The dog said, "I can eat dog food, which I call it good food,
And get sprayed with water, when a hose squirts me dry.
But in all of the Muppets, remember they're puppets,
They're played by these perfomers which you know and so do I".

[Chorus]
"I don't know a thing about Muppets,
I just kind of think of them as sock puppets,
I just watch from my ball,
Will Muppets rise, or will they fall?
I don't know a thing about Muppets".

[Outro]
"I don't know a thing about Muppets".