Just what I wanted
To have lessons and to learn just
How to drive
If I had clubs then I promise that
I would really, really try
Sometimes I think all I need now, is a caddy
Although getting myself an instructor, would be handy

Ho Ho Ho
The one I wanted
Is nice but really overpriced
He wanted more money than the people
In that golfing guide
Now a spot of good weather, would be dandy
If we played a round together, me and Mandy

Ho Ho Ho
I will be your golfing teacher
I will not charge overtime
Careful of that water feature
Aim the ball and take your time
I will be your golfing teacher
Hold the club, yes that looks fine
I am more than happy to, give you my time

I did not realise
This would be such an undertaking, with things to buy
Why did I pay this money and hire this guy
Sometimes I think it would be better, with a caddy
But maybe he will make me the player, that I can be

I will be your golfing teacher
I will not charge overtime
Careful of that water feature
Aim the ball and take your time
I will be your golfing teacher
Hold the club, yes that looks fine
I am more than happy to, give you my time

Now I am in the bunker
How can this be?
This is not easy, easy for me
Why did I start this, as a hobby?

So just remember that I have really tried
Now I am prepared
Glad I looked in that guide
Such a good teacher
Ready to show me

I'm not disappointed
Just want a prize sometime, maybe
I cannot deny, no
(Really hope the weather stays mild)
How many holes left to go
(This could take a while)
Just come on, come on, there's so much to know

I will be your golfing teacher
I will not charge overtime
Careful of that water feature
Aim the ball and take your time
I will be your golfing teacher
Hold the club, yes that looks fine
I am more than happy to, give you my time
(So I am gonna play you)
Need to find the time
I will be your guide
I will be your teacher
I will be your caddy
I am more than happy to give you my time