He's a-howlin' about the cover sheets
He'll be lucky to get any TPS report
He ain't gonna get none of it
So I stop in the local Tchotchkies,
You know, people

I go to a table, I ring my coat,
I call the waiter
Said "Look, man, come down here."
He got down there

"So what you want?"
One coffee, one sugar, one cream

Well I ain't had a 40-hour week
Since I don't know when
I've been drinking coffee,
Juice, water and Advil
Gonna wake up, man
I'm gonna get goosed
Need me a triple shot of that go-juice

Gotta get movin'
Gotta pick up some steam
I want one coffee,
One sugar and one cream
One coffee, one sugar, one cream

But I'm sitting now at my table
I'm getting hyper, I'm feelin' wired
I'm drinkin' coffee
I'm drinkin' espresso
I'm gettin' a sugar high

Looked over at the kitchen
Here come the waiter
I said "look man, come down here."
He got down there

"So what you want?
Some Pizza Shooters,
Shrimp Poppers, or Extreme Fajitas?"
No, man, just coffee!
And make it fast
I ain't had a vacation since
The year before last

Gotta clear my head, man
I gotta wake up
Gotta get movin'
I ain't had enough

Need me a triple shot of that stuff
Gotta get goin'
Gotta pick up some steam
I want one coffee,
One sugar, and one cream

Now by this time
I'm plenty wired
You know when your mouth a-gettin' tired
You've been yapping away

Looked out the window
I say to my waiter
I said "Look, man,
Come down here."
He got down there

So what you want this time?
I said "Look, man,
What time is it?"

He said the clock on the wall
Say 11 o'clock
Breakfast is over
So what you want?

I said one cruller,
One fritter, and one plain!
And a couple of brownies
To take back to the team
And one coffee, one sugar, one cream