I got a little flask in my pocket
Gonna fill it with Jim Beam
Wanna take it to the football game, wanna
Cheer for my team
But each time we go
I hear the same old cheers
Always, "First and ten do it again
Throw the ball way down the field"
So I asked my honey,
"Give me a funny cheer to yell"
She said, "Go get me some fries
And keep your chants to yourself!"

I said, "Come on, Vanderlinden!
Why you gonna run that draw play?
You know it's what they're looking for
Just punt the ball away!"
That's when I dropped down my shorts and
yelled, "WATERMELON RIND!"
She said, "Stop pointing at the scoreboard,
Jeff, YOUR team just fell behind!"
Oh, my honey, my baby
Give me a funny cheer to yell
She said, "Go get me some fries
And keep your chants to yourself!"

My team was playin real bad
And I was about to give in
That's when she started talkin about team pride
And the receiver's open!
I said, "Run a post pattern the defense is too slow!"
She said, "E-X-L-A-X
What's that make you do? GO! GO! GO!"
Oh, my honey, my baby
Gave me a funny cheer to yell
I went and got her some fries
And kept my chants to myself!