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Song Parodies -> "I help myself to loving ewes"
Original Song Title:
"I hate myself for loving you"
Original Performer:
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Parody Song Title:
"I help myself to loving ewes"
Parody Written by:
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd
The Lyrics
Yeah, you're right, I know, I know, this type of parody where the writer and his muse is going for sheep laughs has been done many times over, and over, and over. Our only defence here is that the title sub has never been done before and that it was irresistible to take on for such baaaaaadasses as the two of us.
A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlXIk2KJtms
A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlXIk2KJtms
Midnight, there's no light, where's the ewes?
It's time to get me some, at least one or two
I know I'm pervy when I shag what you stew
Pitch black, can't hang back, the farmer's in town
I get on back 'less it's on Mary's lamb
And overzealous just from wool white or brown
I'm on the prowl every single day
I come at night with a batch of DNA
I help myself to loving ewes
Shagging spree in the barns' what I do
I want a flock but a one sheep will do
That way I help myself to loving ewes
They can't fence my lance from their ewes
Cos I've been spearing through the barnyards, it's true
I keep getting horny from their smell and the taboo
No rams and no lambs smooth me right
And that old cloned one Dolly's best outta sight
You oughta see my facebook, my felletes are wolly white
My balls get blue by the sight of hay
I come apart and I'll ram a pride a day
I'll hurt myself to get to ewes
Shepherd dogs and morass I'll plow through
Once stuck on barb wire, dick's now askew
That time I held my breath 'til I got blue
(Baaaaaa goes the flock - over a banjo solo)
I roam the barns 'til the night turns day
I have my way in a fucking sheepish way
I'll lie my way to loving ewes
Foot-and-mouth disease signs' my best coup
That closed a road and a farm, even two
And I could help myself to loving ewes
I help myself to loving ewes
Snook my wife and she don't have a clue
I cannot stop and this song's ballyhoo
No way I'm gonna stop to love the ewes
I help myself… to loving ewes
Can't stop myself… from shagging ewes
I help myself… to loving ewes
Can't stop myself… from shagging ewes
I help myself to loving ewes
It's time to get me some, at least one or two
I know I'm pervy when I shag what you stew
Pitch black, can't hang back, the farmer's in town
I get on back 'less it's on Mary's lamb
And overzealous just from wool white or brown
I'm on the prowl every single day
I come at night with a batch of DNA
I help myself to loving ewes
Shagging spree in the barns' what I do
I want a flock but a one sheep will do
That way I help myself to loving ewes
They can't fence my lance from their ewes
Cos I've been spearing through the barnyards, it's true
I keep getting horny from their smell and the taboo
No rams and no lambs smooth me right
And that old cloned one Dolly's best outta sight
You oughta see my facebook, my felletes are wolly white
My balls get blue by the sight of hay
I come apart and I'll ram a pride a day
I'll hurt myself to get to ewes
Shepherd dogs and morass I'll plow through
Once stuck on barb wire, dick's now askew
That time I held my breath 'til I got blue
(Baaaaaa goes the flock - over a banjo solo)
I roam the barns 'til the night turns day
I have my way in a fucking sheepish way
I'll lie my way to loving ewes
Foot-and-mouth disease signs' my best coup
That closed a road and a farm, even two
And I could help myself to loving ewes
I help myself to loving ewes
Snook my wife and she don't have a clue
I cannot stop and this song's ballyhoo
No way I'm gonna stop to love the ewes
I help myself… to loving ewes
Can't stop myself… from shagging ewes
I help myself… to loving ewes
Can't stop myself… from shagging ewes
I help myself to loving ewes
© Peter Andersson.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 3 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 2 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 11 | 11 | 11 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Peter - Thank you. It's been way too long since we had a sheep parody. Very well done...you're a true "wooly bully"! ;D
That should be one for making Turtle jealous for being so baaaaaaad...
When that certain someone misses even a day here, there is always someone trying to usurp his place. Like the reference to cloning. That's my gig.
Beewetiful. But how'd you ever slip the F-bomb through?
The opening statement is a joke right? Because honestly, I don't think I've read any sheep parodies before this one. . .great TOS by the way too!
Dave- Half of Tommy Turtles parodies are about doing it with sheep.
(SOTM) Well Tommy Turtle has some issues. Anyway, this parody is interesting. The pacing is great. I'm sorry but I'm not a fan of beastiality parodies though. Objectively this was a good parody, I just don't really like the subject.
SOTM: Personally, I prefer "Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep"...but this was a great runner up in the shagging sheep genre. Nice work!
I still can't believe Dave hasn't read or heard any songs about screwing sheep before the release of this one. It has to be one of the most usual topics for song parody. Who knows why? I sure don't.
SOTM -Ewwwwwwwe wascuwiii pawiodist!!!
Okay, clever puns, sheep, and one of my favorite OS's, this one stuck in my head all day. Excellent job.
SOTM: Facebook Friending a Sheep Shagger?
EEEEEEEUUUUWWWWWWW!!!
Strong original song, and the original concept has potential (pervy self-hate), but this falters I fear. Pacing problems, and the lyrical content just doesn’t grab me.
I caught a couple of missed rhymes, but overall good job with the tricky rhymes, but I disagree with Michael on the pacing problems strongly, I had no problem at all pacing the song, and the lyrical content was very odd-but it certainly kept my attention--mixed opinion for me, but well written none-the-less
(SOTM) Welp, you managed to work in the word "shag" by the third line, that's all I need. Seriously though, great parody about a kinda icky topic that still somehow manages to create really funny parodies. Weird, innit? 555 to ewe, sir!
This parody is too furry if you know what I mean.
Ewwww is right. This is pretty hilarious though. Great addition to the flock.
And I remember this one, nice to enjoy again!
(Artistry) See above...again!
Still funny after all these years. Nicely done!
(Artistry) See above
Reminds me of an old joke .. Did you know that Leon Trosky was not killed with a ball peen hammer. That was just a cover story by the Trosky-ite faction. In fact, he sustained a fatal heart attack while humping a sheep, making him history's first "died in the wool" Communist
I'm attempting to parody this very song just now, Peter and that's how I came acros- .. uh, I mean I happened upon this startling confessional of yours
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