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Song Parodies -> "Jack LaLanne"
Original Song Title:
"Jack and Diane"
Original Performer:
John Cougar Mellencamp
Parody Song Title:
"Jack LaLanne"
Parody Written by:
Jan Unwin
The Lyrics
Little ditty, about Jack LaLanne
Back in the 60s he would cause my mama pain
Doing those situps upon the kitchen floor
She'd stop and have a cigarette, and then come back for more
Sippin' on some green stuff from his new Power Juicer
Though it doesn't look like much, it's high technology
Just throw in some green beans and then you add some spinach
Won't even miss those burgers with the cheese
Oh yeah, Jack goes on
Even though he's 89, his body fat's in check
Oh yeah, Jack is strong
Still looks like 45, except above the neck
Ol' Jack sits back, and collects all his money
Scratches his head and does his best Mr. Bean.
Says me and Bob Barker are still among the living
Bobby says Jackie, you are really something
Oh yeah, Jack goes on
Even though he's 89, his body fat's in check
Oh yeah, Jack is strong
Still looks like 45, except above the neck
Abs like rock, has no rolls
And below the belt, well we just don't know
Has not been 16 for 73 years
He might have wrinkles but they're not on his rear
Oh yeah, Jack goes on
Even though he's 89, his body fat's in check
Oh yeah, Jack is strong
Still looks like 45, except above the neck
Little ditty, about Jack LaLanne
The first fitness guru, he will forever reign
Back in the 60s he would cause my mama pain
Doing those situps upon the kitchen floor
She'd stop and have a cigarette, and then come back for more
Sippin' on some green stuff from his new Power Juicer
Though it doesn't look like much, it's high technology
Just throw in some green beans and then you add some spinach
Won't even miss those burgers with the cheese
Oh yeah, Jack goes on
Even though he's 89, his body fat's in check
Oh yeah, Jack is strong
Still looks like 45, except above the neck
Ol' Jack sits back, and collects all his money
Scratches his head and does his best Mr. Bean.
Says me and Bob Barker are still among the living
Bobby says Jackie, you are really something
Oh yeah, Jack goes on
Even though he's 89, his body fat's in check
Oh yeah, Jack is strong
Still looks like 45, except above the neck
Abs like rock, has no rolls
And below the belt, well we just don't know
Has not been 16 for 73 years
He might have wrinkles but they're not on his rear
Oh yeah, Jack goes on
Even though he's 89, his body fat's in check
Oh yeah, Jack is strong
Still looks like 45, except above the neck
Little ditty, about Jack LaLanne
The first fitness guru, he will forever reign
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
User Comments
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Jack LaLanne is an amazing human being - I remember when I was a preschooler watching him on our black-and-white TV during the Kennedy administration....and I'm 45 !
Great parody, Jan. Favorite line:
She’d stop and have a cigarette, and then come back for more
Great parody, Jan. Favorite line:
She’d stop and have a cigarette, and then come back for more
You're on a roll, Jan--do you live in England?
No, Royce, Washington State. But I remember Jack LaLanne from my childhood.
Oh---well Jan, my dad lives in Washington state and I've spent some time there, near the Columbia River; what a neat place. There's this place called Maryhill Museum that I really like. Out in the middle of "nowhere"; keep writing your neat parodies.
Does Jack still do stunts on his birthday, like towing boats and lifting cars?
Yeah, he performs one amazing stunt. He gets up every morning.
Very good Jan!
All 5s! Great parody. My favorite line? "Still looks like 45, except around the neck"
Mari, an answer to your question about Jack's birthday stunts is coming in the form of one of my parodies.
really sad attempt
I just saw that Jack is still selling his power juicer in infomercials. Long live Jack.
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