Well, beat the clock, got to the gate, to catch my flight today!
I'm in again, the club pass made my deal.
Cleared the scan, a safe trip home for this brown-eyed handsome man.
Then someone said, "Hold it, man! Your fate is sealed!"

Don't put me in coach! I paid for first class, you ass!
Don't put me in coach! I paid for first class, you ass!
Look at me, on Flight 3, center seat!

Well, I spent some time with a good airline
watching the clouds roll by.
You know I took a nap when the DC-10 took off.
But, say, hey, Willie, your kosher meal, an old big matzo roll?
You'd get better stuff where I'm supposed to fly.

Don't put me in coach! I paid for first class, you ass!
Don't put me in coach! I paid for first class, you ass!
Look at me, on Flight 3, center seat!

(guitar break)

Oy, oy, I'm airsick, I'm airsick!

Got a queasy gut, an airsick bag, but I missed, it's on my shoes.
You know, I think it's time to scream and you know why.
Just to sue the line for their last dime, a moment in the court!
I've won, and you can tell that stew goodbye!

Don't put me in coach! I paid for first class, you ass!
Don't put me in coach! I paid for first class, you ass!
Look at me, on Flight 3, center seat!
Don't put me in coach! I paid for first class, you ass!
Don't put me in coach! I paid for first class, you ass!
Look at me, on Flight 3, center seat!
Yeah!