Been strainin' so long
But it's comin' out wrong
Two hours, my butt
Oh, a pain in my gut
I hate this feeling
These runs are making me sore
Looking at ceiling
And now I think there's some more
Now I'm gonna cut

Loose, stool's loose
Not makin' turds, just ooze
Ew, peeyoo
Boy, I sure hate the flu
Frank, that's rank
How did I make this stank?
News, no doos
Sittin' here with stool's loose


I'm sad and alone
Stuck here on this cold throne
Waiting for the next fart
I'm burning, yearning for some
Preparation H
That knife is stabbing my ass
I'm crying at the ache
It feels like I swallowed some glass
Hope I last, till I stop cutting

Loose, stool's loose
Turn off the chocolate juice
Oohwhee, poor me
Ain't lookin' down to see
Whoa, oh no
Feels like I still must go
Buns, no fun
Okay, now I think I'm done
I think I've run out of wipe
I got to find some to swipe
I believe I used it all
I'm sick of it.......

(repeat, or get out now.....)