[Hooded monk speaks to the camera, and introduces
the lead singer for the next number...]

All pay heed! Now enters his holiness, Torqueberto,
the Attorney General of the Bush Administration.
Torqueberto - sends retards to the electric chair.
Torqueberto - fires lawyers for no reason at all.
Torqueberto - calls torture just a frat prank.
Let's face it - this guy is gonna take a fall!

[Al Gonzales and his lackeys singing...]

Bush Administration (We run the nation)
Bush Administration (Let's have a celebration)
We had a mission to invade Iraq ("Raq, "Raq, "Raq, "Raq, "Raq, "Raq, "Raq)
We're gonna rule them for certain.
We're gonna hire Haliburton
and take all the oil fields away. (Just take them away)

Confess, don't be boring.
Say yes, don't be dull.
A fact you're ignoring:
It's better to lose your keffiyeh than your keister (Allāhu Akbar!)
Bush Administration (run by Rove)
Bush Administration (Scooter says so)
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away.
But the Bush Administration lies and it lies every day!

[Cut to two old Muslim mullahs hanging by their wrists
who start talking to each other]

"I was sitting in a mosque. I was minding my own business.
I was listening to a lovely Koran mass.
Then these Neocon persons plundered and they throw me in a dungeon
and they shove a red hot poker up my ass.
Is that considerate? Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight!"

"I'm sittin' knittin' prayer rugs
and I'm renditioned by some thugs
and suddenly these infidels chain me to a wall.
I didn't even know them
and they grabbed me by the scrotum
and started hooking batteries to my balls!
Ooh, the agony! Ooh, the shame!
To make my privates public for a game?"

[Back to Al and his lackeys singing...]

Bush Administration (run by cronies)
Bush Administration (that's no baloney)
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away.
But the Bush Administration's here and it's here to-

[Someone calls over to Torqueberto while in the middle of a routine ...]

"Hey Torqueberto, walk this way."
"I just got back from the Abu-Ghraib."
" Abu-Ghraib? What's an Abu-Ghraib?"
"It's where waterboardin' ain't torture, babe!"

[Torqueberto speaks to a row of prisoners]

Will you convert? "No, no, no, no."
Will you confess? "No, no, no, no."
Will you revert? "No, no, no, no."
Will you say yes? "No, no, no, no!"
Now I asked in a nice way, I said, "Waste more money."
"I let them hang Hussein, now I'll hunt down Sistani!"

[Someone calls over to Torqueberto again ...]

"Hey Torqueberto, walk this way.
We got a little game that you might wanna play,
just say "WMD' and invade foreign soil."
"Who knows, Al, you might win some oil!"

[Torqueberto, spins a huge slot machine, with Arabs in place of the cherries, lucky 7's, etc. on the slot wheel. It comes up a winner, and gold starts pouring out of the machine. Torqueberto leans over to a flunky and says, "Give it to Cheney..."]

"How we doin', any terrorists today?"
"Not a one, nay, nay, nay."
"We flattened their fingers, we branded their buns!
Nothing is working! Send in the pun-dits!"

[A bunch of Fox News pundits appear surrounding a pool of water. They shad their robes to reveal bathing suits, dive into the pool, and perform an old-style aquatic musical number. Some Iraqis are seen shooting down slides and into the water. The pundits surround the Iraqis, and pull them under water. Than the rest of the cast joins for the big chorus line at the end of the song..]

Bush Administration, way down in the polls.
Bush Administration, cause we sold our souls.
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away!
So all you Iranians and you Iraqis
We got big news: listen to the fact-i's:
You'd better change your point of views TODAY!
'Cause the Bush Administration lies. Just ask Tom Delay!