Logging in to a game of Half-Life
Your pathetic speed, must cause you great strife
Your Matrix impression, it just made me scoff
I walked over and blew your head off

And I said,
"I connect from a LAN of wonder
That T3 speed did not blunder
You run like, you run like a flounder
You better run, you better take cover."

Met a guy when I played Counter-Strike
He was on my team and so businesslike
I said, "Do you think that's dial-up?"
He 'lol'ed and used his knife to beat him up

And he said,
"I connect from a LAN of wonder
That lightning speed did not blunder
He ran like, he ran like a flounder
They'd better run, they'd better take cover.."

Some people have 56K
That kind of speed, oh it's just so gay
I say to cable, "You're just slowing me way down
You're only good if you're stuck in a small town"

And I say,
"Oh! I connect from a LAN of wonder (oh yeah yeah)
That T3 speed did not blunder
You run like, you run like a flounder
You better run, you better take cover."

Connect from a LAN of wonder
That T3 speed did not blunder
You run like, you run like a flounder
You better run, you better take cover.
(Repeat 2 more times)

Connect from a LAN of wonder...