Takes a great swing but the wind just blows
Better block your ears
Many rude words will spew forth
Because he tried and failed right now
Veer wide, give him space
He reacts worse than "grumpily"

Sporstman is swearing louder
Than reviewers online
He'll blame his bat sometimes
Or he blames the sun's shine
When the poor sportsman whines
We only roll our eyes

Oh yeah, yeah

Sends bats flying when they don't hit the ball
Might snap them in half
A good thing his strength is of mice
A missed shot once, a missed shot twice
He sees one solution now:
Punch out the poor replacement, that's right

Sportsman is getting closer
To decent-ish jail time
Can't take the loss, he'll fight
Almost a fact of life
That the poor sportsman whines
We hold him back and sigh

Oh yeah, yeah

Tried calming him down, that douche
Just slugged me in my face
Racket, that's what he makes, it's true
Far from a tennis ace
Tournaments? No fun, we have to endure
Cause of what he puts others through
When he ruins damn ev'ry tour
What little of them we do

Won a round? Oh god, let's get out
Drag him by his feet
He will rub it in so hard
A guide to win or lose wrong?
Don't need one paperbound
Just need to find this one arrogant prick

Sportsman is a bad loser
He'll scream and swear and cry
But when he wins, he'll try
To crow 'bout it all night
What a poor sportsman, right
Where do those tranq darts lie?

Oh yeah, yeah