Sweaty dudes in bars and queues and stands at racing tracks
Think they have the goods to show off from the front and back
Don't know common courtesy or how to cut us slack
They are appaling sights
A man should not wear tights

We ain't gonna sugar coat it, we're not out to shmooze
Dad-bods in the mart in speedos oughta all vamoose
Rock those bottoms other ways, we're yet to spot a Zeus
We hope stray dogs will bite
That'll soil some tighty whites

We approve of beer guts all constrained from busting free
We just think that if a crowbar's used to have one squeezed
That should be a big fat NO, so's the smell of cheese
No way to ask polite
Go put away those tights!