If you have some time for me,
Then I'll tell you something funny,
About people called Candidates,
Such as Bush and/or Kerry.
Then perhaps you will think twice,
Before you go to vote,
Because if you think about it right,
You'll realize that they're all dumb.

99 Candidates,
They're all under-qualified!
It's almost like they came from UFOs,
I mean, hey, just look at their faces!
Real long chins, a big nose,
Starting their campaigns in the summer,
99 Candidates drawl on!

99 Hours of speeches,
Talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk
Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla
They'll all raise taxes anyway
Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla,
Talk, talk, talk, talk, and talk
99 Candidates drawl on!

99 Minutes left
Until all the votes are cast
Will it be Bush, Kerry, Gore
Or that vote stealer Nader?
They'll all just continue our war
So who cares anyway?
As long as the talking is done
99 Minutes left!

99 Minutes had passed
And we found out who had won
It's all over and I'm standing dumbfounded,
In what I thought was an election
We all know whom we want to win,
He's a cool guy if you don't know.
You know whom I'm talking about
Here's a hint: His name's AHNULD!