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Song Parodies -> "Rude Brake"

Original Song Title:

"True Faith"

Original Performer:

New Order

Parody Song Title:

"Rude Brake"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

You ever have someone suddenly put on the brakes in front of you? Repeatedly? For hours?
Tryna reach my destination
But someone in front of me
Refuses to remain in motion
They're doing it delib'rately
It's not fair to stop right there
Because I care about those who follow
No dents so far, this is only from luck
Soon you'll get my Swift up your truck

Being a prick with the way you always stop
All sudden-like, I'm surprised your back wheels don't pop
Right the hell off the ground 'cause of all the sheer
Forces involved, your shocks might fall off here
Followed in sync by my own because you suck
I don't wanna rear-end an ass up the butt

I learned as a very small boy
Sudden stops don't work for me
Feels like your neck has been severed
Fuzz and sparks are all you see
Though I'm grown, I have to say
There's not much diff'rence in what pain's coming
I wish that you would start going
A diff'rent path, my rage is growing

You're such a dick with the way you start and stop
Both at the lights, which'd be pretty bad enough
Forgotten what yellow lights are for, I fear
But the times that you stop when all is clear
The bloody middle of the street just because
I guess you get your kicks from me losing lunch

Exercise in sheer frustration
Why must you do this to me?
The speed limit, want to approach it
To reach home today would be neat
But you're just straining my poor car
It isn't nice and it isn't funny
Well, "in hindsight" notwithstanding
In the moment, I'm still ranting

A total prick with how damn hard you slam on
Your brakes despite the sense made is approaching none
No-one in front of you, your path is so clear
So it must be because you're a cow's rear
It's hard to think of a good well-made insult
When my poor brain's got whiplash as a result
Of the huge dick in the overly-huge truck
Who loves to try and make me become so unstuck
I hope the ones stuck behind me can see clear
That it's you who's at fault, the real dung-smear
Am I the prick? Are you trying not to run
Over some animal? No, you just plain suck

I don't drive a Swift myself, but it was the kinda size I was aiming for with my first car, mainly to make parking easier. Then one time I had a cement mixer in front of me, a standard truck with trailer behind me and a bus on my right and I regretted everything.

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Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

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