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Song Parodies -> "Kristin Crowley"

Original Song Title:

"Mr. Crowley"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Ozzy Osbourne

Parody Song Title:

"Kristin Crowley"

Parody Written by:

Arch Vile

The Lyrics

Time for me to dogpile on this issue. Once I found out the name of the LAFD fire chief, this was the only course of action to create a dis track of this person. Even if that flak goes to others. I hope this gets the attention like Enter Nick Sandman. Enjoy
(Instrumental Intro, juxtaposed with images of forest fires in California to symbolize hell)

(Verse 1)
Kristin Crowley, have you noticed the spread?
Oh, Kristin Crowley, have you counted the dead?
Your job to, protect, them from danger
With an order soo tall
That diversity was the changer
Yeah, you kept your eye off of the ball

(Verse 2)
Mr. Newsom, is the smoke that obscure?
Mr. G. Newscum, as the people deplore
The property values inflated
Personnel lacked in dearth
With empty reservoirs no secret
Bass to Ghana for what it’s worth

(Guitar Solo)

(Verse 3)
Kristin Crowley, should get off her high horse
Kristin Crowley, a recall we endorse
Evacuations full of traffic
A fake text message call
Bill Burr and his mental gymnastics
More hot air than he has the gall

(Short Instrumental Break)

(Bridge)
This state’s polemically bent
We wanna know what was spent*
We wanna know, we wanna know what was spent, yeah*

(Instrumental Outro)
* = Alternate lines "The water went to the smelt; The water went, the water went to the smelt, yeah". I know it's not a direct rhyme, but cost mismanagement seems to be the go to for an ongoing issue. Not sure how often the smelt get their migration papers in CA. I also heard that there was some rich family that hoarded water just to grow almonds? or pistachios? Something that doesn't typically grow in California. I'll take a fact check on that one.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   27
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 27
 

User Comments

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G_RandomPerson - January 20, 2025 - Report this comment
Well done AV, I really enjoyed this one.
Phil Ossifer - January 20, 2025 - Report this comment
Way to nail it, AV. I agree with you on all of this, especially Bill Burr's idiotic comments. He's got more hair than brains when it comes to logical analysis. Lastly, does anybody understand why George&GermaineBriantFan is posting old retorts aimed at him in other people's posts?

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