I feel something crawling up my pants, left si-ide, oh Lo-ord
It makes it pretty hard to focus, I cannot lie-ie, oh Lo-ord
Can you see it crawling up my pants, left si-ide? Oh Lo-ord
Oh Lo-o-ord

It's not a joke, swear I'm not clowning
There's something in my pants
Look at my face, the way it swea-eats
And twitches, don't you dare go, help me, man
It feels quite hairy with multiple legs
And for all I know, lots of eye-eyes
But don't you say it's an i-itch
They don't move from shi-ins
To the knees and then the thighs

I can still feel it crawling up my pants, left si-ide, oh Lo-ord
It's taking its time, it's just roaming, that gives us ti-ime, oh Lo-ord
Swear there's something crawling up my pants, left si-ide, oh Lo-ord
Oh Lo-o-ord

Might be a spider
A huge spider, so-o furry
Making i-its way up my leg, I'm in deep shi-ite
And now I-I've become frozen
If you-ou-ou don't do somethi-ing now, it'll crawl on my nuts
Then you can't help me-e
You can't smash it there, no-o
If you spra-ay it, thou-ough
It might bite into Mi-ini-Me

Gotta stop it cra-awling up my pants, left si-ide, oh Lo-ord
Bet it's got venom that's quite potent, don't want to die-ie, oh Lo-ord
I don't want it in my pa-ants tonight, oh Lo-ord, oh Lo-ord
Close to my buttocks, I'm still hoping that it won't bi-ite, oh Lo-ord
Little prick's still cra-awling up my pants, left si-ide, oh Lo-ord
I'd like more help than your condolences in this pli-i-i-i-i-ight, oh Lo-o-o-ord
Get the thing out of my pants quick-like, oh Lo-o-o-ord, oh Lo-ord, oh Lo-o-o-ord
You might have to rip my pants open, see my fat thi-i-i-i-i-ighs, oh Lo-ord, oh Lo-ord