I can go from nought from edible in three minutes
I can serve alone or just for two
I can stew in pots or you can eat from the tin, it
Needn't be a trouble to get food

Ooh beans - have beans tonight
No time to cook tonight, oh yeah
Don't be a slob, turn on the hob
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned can o' beans

Ooh let me feed you quickly (Cook faster, faster)
You'll find I'm never sickly
Just grab a spoon and lick
Cause after all you don't always have the time to do the cooking
Just say the word and plonk me in the pan

Ooh beans - eat beans tonight
What're you cookin' tonight, hey boy
Bread and butter
Feel much better
I'm ready for your tea the second you get home!

Come on you students
Don't act so prudent
(How can you cook on study nights)
When I'm not needed
I'll stay in the cupboard
Love you - love you

Hey boy where do you get it from
Hey boy where did you go ?
You get your beans by any means from the Tesco's down the road

Dining at the Ritz is mighty fine
(Dining at the Ritz is mighty fine)
But you just can't do it every night
Beans are back in style, and with some toast they go quite nicely
Just sprinkle on some cheese, that will be fine
(Come on and eat up)

Ooh beans,
(Here we go again just like a good old-fashioned tin of beans)
Have beans tonight
No time to cook tonight, oh yeah
Have a speedy meal that's the real deal
That's because I'm a good old-fashioned can o' beans