Too late, it starts with a sunrise, roosters crow, newspaper man
And Garner Ted is long since dead
Eye on the TV screen, gobble down Lean Cuisine
Earth turns at same speed, dummies feed their own needs
Tell 'em lies and squawk and grunt
Nonsense, Mad Hatter starts to chatter, sell the fear, blight the right
Water or fire, gallivant the horsemen four, government still pours men into a combat zone
Four days left, we're shopping in a hurry, with the flurries blowing down our necks
Fame, no shame, the prophets baffled, trumped, circled crops
Look at these high prices! Fine 'em!
Uh, oh, overblown, inspiration? Come on, dude, it's little good
Slew yourself, screw yourself
Folks have some strange needs, cheering as the world bleeds
Still here after the Rapture, along with the Reverend of the Right--shite!
You're asymmetric, apoplectic, flim-flam night light
Thought you had us psyched

As a prophet of doom you have blown it
If you'd just read the Book, you'd have known it
The last seed of despair, you have sown it, and we're still fine

Countdown clock, final hours
Stop and smell bouquet of flowers
Leaves can't burn, sunburn, listen to butter churn
Locking in low mortgage rates, car dealers offer price rebates
Light a vandal, fight a vote fraud
Stomp down! Stomp down!
Use your heel, crush bug, oh boy
Heaven, no beer? Chug one here
Rodeo steer, cheer!
A firmament, a permanent, a monument of pies
Chemical solutions, offer me a shot of booze
And I'll recline

It's the end of your scam and you've known it
No "Apocalypse Now", they've postponed it
If you've got lots of cash, will you loan it? And I'll be fine
I'll be fine

It's an oak from an acorn, you've grown it
Lack of all common sense, who'll bemoan it?
Model air plane of wood, I have thrown it. And it flew fine

An infomercial selling knives, beauty creme to wrinkled wives
Lawyers stand in a line
Lauren Bacall
Lepke Buchalter, Lucille Ball, Len Bias
Donner Party, cupcakes, jumping bean, doom!
Unsympathetic, idiotic, pencil-neck, fright?
Kite

It's the same crazy world as we knew it
Day of doom but we all made it through it
You bit off way too much, tried to chew it. And I feel Mayan.

I'm the king of the world, gonna throne it
(It's time you left us all alone)
Then fall flat on my face, gonna prone it
(It's time I dialed a telephone)
Smoke a pipe full of weed, gonna stone it
(It's time you pay your student loan)
And I'll be flyin'

I'll write more songs like this, gonna clone it
(It's time to bake a tray of scones)
Then the Witch of November will crone it
(It's time to join the Skull and Bones)
Say a prayer, hope to God I'll atone it
We'll keep on tryin'