You excuse yourself date after date
And I slowly go insane
You promise me you won't be long
But your promise seems inane

When I see you next to never
Seems like you're gone forever

When to the Ladies' Room you go
Whatever it is that you do
I will be right here waiting for you
However long it may take
If I have to eat stone cold steak
I will be right here waiting for you

I take for granted all the things
That you do to look so great
You fix your make-up, you fix your hair
While I sit here and wait

Oh, how I hate having "date lag" *
Wish I had brought a sleeping bag

Whenever you go
When primping you do
I will be right here waiting for you
While you powder your nose
On my face a beard grows
As I sit right here waiting for you

[Bridge:]

You powder your nose
Throughout eternity
And I can help but wonder how big
Can one nose be?

[Dialog during instrumental:]

WAITER: Excusez-moi, monsieur, but I could not help but notice the cobwebs in your
armpits. Just how long have you been waiting on your lady friend?

ME: Jeez, I dunno... what month is this?

When you return from your lair
Will I be too old to care?
And I don't know which one is worse:
My having to wait
Or the dust on my plate
settling while I'm still waiting for you...

...waiting for you....