Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
Song Parodies -> "I Can't Do Number 2"
Original Song Title:
"I Can't Drive 55"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Sammy Hagar
Parody Song Title:
"I Can't Do Number 2"
Parody Written by:
Shiek Of The Mutilated
The Lyrics
Yes, another song about using the toilet. So if you have weak constitutions, viewer discretion advised. Otherwise, it'll make you laugh, I hope.
One squeeze from my lays, all smelly with gas!
Well, there's too much pushin', I can't crap, no!
So I sit at home on this porcelain can
My hole is black as night, somebody blow me a fan!
Chorus I:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2.
So my proctologist answered my house call
I said, "My stool's makin' my anus raw."
He said, "I'll stick your a** with a liter of Fleet.
It might sting a little. Do you feel the heat?"
I said, "Heeey! Oy Vay!"
Chorus II:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!
Oh, no!
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
Ungh! (solo)
When my log's that big, it hurts my derriere
And I can't even get the turd balls from my hair.
What took me just 5 minutes, now takes all day
Huh! It took me 16 hours to pass a filet!
Chorus:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!
No, no, no, I can't do...(I can't do Number 2)!
I can't do...I can't do Number 2!
I can't do Number 2!
(fade)
Well, there's too much pushin', I can't crap, no!
So I sit at home on this porcelain can
My hole is black as night, somebody blow me a fan!
Chorus I:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2.
So my proctologist answered my house call
I said, "My stool's makin' my anus raw."
He said, "I'll stick your a** with a liter of Fleet.
It might sting a little. Do you feel the heat?"
I said, "Heeey! Oy Vay!"
Chorus II:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!
Oh, no!
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
Ungh! (solo)
When my log's that big, it hurts my derriere
And I can't even get the turd balls from my hair.
What took me just 5 minutes, now takes all day
Huh! It took me 16 hours to pass a filet!
Chorus:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!
No, no, no, I can't do...(I can't do Number 2)!
I can't do...I can't do Number 2!
I can't do Number 2!
(fade)
Huh, huh, you said bottom!---Beavis and Butthead
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
| ||||||||||||||||||
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 5 | 5 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Try eating more fruit and drink plenty of fluids. That should do it.
Yeah, that should help when you can't get out of the bathroom. ;)
That was funny.
Totally funny! "What took just five minutes now takes all day. Huh! It took me 16 hours to pass a filet!" are the best two lines of the whole song. LMAO! You know you have a SERIOUS case of constipation if it takes you 16 hours to pass a filet. 555
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
Link To This Page
The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/sammyhagar1.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.
This is view # 1010
